What a difficult situation when weight already becomes an issue at a young age.
Sadly, this has become increasingly common and it's a huge stress for both the parents and the child. Not only due to the obvious emotional distress, but also because of the many health issues that go along with obesity. Each situation will be unique of course, but if you have a child in your life who struggles with their weight, here are some suggestions and ideas to help them.
Ways to Help Overweight Kids
Note that it is assumed if you're reading this that you're already familiar with the Weston Price/real foodie way of eating and are implementing many of these principles already, so the following suggestions build on that foundation. If you need some help with the basics, or if any of this makes you feel overwhelmed, look over these Rookie Tips as a good place to start.
- Keep the issue as low key as you absolutely can, don't let this be the start of an obsession about their weight the rest of their lives. Avoid long conversations about their size, do not bring it up much (if at all), and try not to let them hear you lamenting about your weight or how you look. If they mention how they see themselves, just reply matter-of-factly, “It's good that you want to be healthy, we should all eat better and get moving more. For dinner, let's try finding a new healthy recipe that looks good and later go for a walk together!” (Or go play tennis, or go for a swim, etc.)
- Get moving together. You can't just tell a kid who has always been more sedentary, or who isn't in the habit of being on the move, to go exercise without joining in and making it fun. Our kids are always watching and they need to see us enjoy being active, too.
- Limit in-between meal snacks but if they ask for one, again keep it low-key. Give them cheese, a meat stick from a farmer you trust, or other healthy snack options. Or just matter-of-factly say, “We'll have dinner soon and I want you to be hungry, why don't you see if your friend can play until then?” Also it's good to have a no-snacking-after-dinner rule.
- Involve them in the kitchen. Kids are more likely to eat what they help make, I've seen it over and over again with our own kids. You could use this strategy when introducing new recipes and also take advantage of this time to talk about why you use foods with certain ingredients and avoid others. This is one of THE best lifelong gifts you can give your kids, to teach them to cook. Then take them to the farm or farmers market with you so they can see where their healthy food comes from, and grow a garden together, even if it's just in some pots on your patio. Teach them another important lesson as they help you: that real, healthy foods taste much better too! If their palate doesn't appreciate this yet, it will in time.
- Quietly watch the portions, especially the carbs, such as breads, pasta, rice, potatoes, and especially sweets. When you know they've had enough, drum up some distractions and transition to something else fun – a puzzle, books, playing outside, or whatever works for your child. Maybe even bring it up before you eat, “After we're done with dinner, we're going to …” and that could help to get the focus off food, too. Be careful with this one, though. If they start feeling deprived, you could cause more harm than good and turn food into an obsession. Fill them up with healthy fats, eat more lower carb foods as a family and don't have separate foods just for them, because that just won't fly.
- Talk to them about good choices to make when they're at parties or at school. Some kids will be able to handle this and others won't. In that case you'll just need to focus on home where you can control the choices much more easily.
- NO TV's or video games in their bedrooms. Even better, really limit video game time unless they're playing a game like the Wii where lots of motions are involved — that one is a great way to get the whole family moving! Limiting screen time is not easy to implement — trust me, I know, I've had 3 teenage boys. At the very least, limit their time to an hour a day if you can. When they know their time is up, they become “sooooo bored” and then I cheer inside and think, “PERFECT”. Bored kids will inevitably go find something to do outside!
- Don't have junk around the house so there are fewer battles – they can't hound you for what isn't there. I can't stress this one enough! You may still hear complaints sometimes about how “there's nothing good here to eat”, but they'll get over it. Eventually they'll find a snack and if they don't, even better, because then they'll be nice and hungry for their next nutrient-dense meal. This really works.
- Always send them to school with lunch! This is very important because what passes for “food” in most school hot lunches is downright disgusting and it's no wonder kids are struggling not just with their weight, but also being unable to sit still and learn. Read more and get ideas at the school lunches post. Here's another list with good ideas.
- Limit the sweets at home, but don't make a big deal about it if you go out for ice cream or have another treat now and then. Making your own desserts is so much better because you'll know what's in it and what's not in it. You could even play with the recipe a bit to lower the amount of sugar, use better grains, etc. ALSO, these days there are many “keto dessert” recipes online — make it a challenge to find more of those recipes that you can whip up together. Just make sure there are plenty of “better” options at home that taste good, so they can more easily avoid all of the junky temptations out in the world.
- Read labels like crazy and avoid trans-fats (partially hydrogenated oils, usually soybean, corn, or canola), MSG, and high fructose corn syrup like the plague! These have been strongly linked with obesity, diabetes, and other health issues. Most of us Weston Price followers have known to avoid those scary ingredients for a while now, but even the mainstream media recently mentioned a study showing that “ultra-processed” diets cause weight gain. Also, there are so many chemical preservatives, fake colors and flavors in foods at the store, beware of these as well. Thankfully, none of these are difficult to avoid if you buy organic, however, that does not guarantee nutrient-dense foods, it only helps you avoid a lot of the bad ingredients. Mostly we should all be eating and cooking with whole foods, but buying organic for an occasional “junk food” is sometimes a necessary compromise with kids and especially teenagers.
- Read this post about coconut oil & weight loss (this also explains which fats and oils to avoid), and be sure to read the related links at the bottom of this post.
- This post on cod liver oil explains all the benefits, including how it helps to balance out the fatty-acid ratios in our bodies, which has been shown to reduce heart disease, diabetes and obesity. You and your kids should all be taking a daily dose!
- Watch out for the endocrine disrupters in your kids' environment that can wreak havoc on their growing bodies. These chemicals are in most plastics, in non-stick pans, and in almost all skincare and makeup products as well. (Read here about where I get our skincare and makeup now.)
- Be sure to address their gut health as this plays a huge role in maintaining a healthy weight. Overweight kids definitely need to be on a this probiotic, as well as getting fermented foods such as sauerkraut or homemade fermented pickles into them as much as possible. (Consider making kefir soda or kombucha with them for a healthier soda pop!)
- Get plenty of good fats and NO low-fat dairy! Healthy fats like butter, other animals fats, and full-fat dairy fill us up so we're less likely to need a snack later or crave empty carbs. Also, Nina Planck in her book “Real Food, What to Eat and Why”, explains that calcium absorption may be the key to why studies show that people who consume more milk, yogurt, and cheese lose fat, especially belly fat, and gain lean muscle. She quotes a nutrition professor, Michael Zemel, who found that calcium from dairy foods is “strikingly more effective than calcium from fortified foods or supplements” for stimulating weight loss. When our bodies are nourished well, they don't store extra fat in “fear” that it won't have what it needs. If any of this still doesn't set right with you, read more here about healthy fats. Bonus: these foods taste great too!
- Find whatever it is that they're good at and help them develop this skill or hobby more. It's inevitable, kids with weight issues are going to struggle with low self-esteem, at least to some degree, so confidence in some area of their life will be crucial. This will also keep them more active.
- Lastly, other kids (or adults) can be cruel, as we all know, and your child is bound to hear about how they look from some little snot. Praise them for all their many wonderful qualities often (without being fakey or giving empty praise, because kids see through that), and tell them how great you think they are and how much you love them no matter what. Be that safe person in their life who they can always come to when they're sad. Let them know you understand how they feel and share whatever it was that you were teased about as a kid, because we've all got something! Role play with them and try out ideas for how to handle a similar situation in the future. This also may be a good way to get them giggling a little and lighten up the issue for them a bit.
- Most importantly, teach them about God's unconditional love for each of us, no matter how we look!
I'm sure you all have more ideas, share in the comments below!
More you might like:
- New York Times: Should kids have TV's in their bedrooms?
- Support from your spouse in the kitchen
Lillian says
p.s. I’d also like to say that according charts, her BMI is normal for her height/weight, but when I look at her she has a nice bit of chunk around her middle.
Lillian says
What about weight gain caused by puberty? My oldest daughter was always very thin until about a year after puberty started and she’s now about 10 – 15 pounds overweight at age 14. Her activity level didn’t change and we eat much healthier now than we did when she was thin. The only thing that changed was the puberty. It was drastic weight gain too. She started puberty right before she turned 12. A year later she suddenly gained several pounds in one month and there was no reason for it. She has gone through periods where she has slimmed down somewhat, but she’s now chunky again and it worries me. I was always thin growing up so I don’t really know how to help her or if this is normal. And most of her friends (same age) are sticks.
KitchenKop says
I have two thoughts on this:
1. This happens to a lot of kids, and then they get taller and everything is fine. Just DON’T make a bigger deal of it than it needs to be. Keep it LOW key so you can help her maintain a good body image. (SO difficult at this age!)
2. You might consider visiting a naturopath or good chiropractor – just for an evaluation. Just a thought.
Kelly
Lillian says
What could a naturopath (I’m not really familiar with their practices) or a chiropractor (does it have to be a certain kind of practice?) do?
KitchenKop says
Just peace of mind to double check on the small chance that there might be something else is going on, that’s all.
%kelly the kitchen kop% via Facebook says
Are you sure its junk food? As a child I was very heavy even though my mother had me eating ‘healthy’. I have an inflamatory response to all grains and processed foods so every ‘diet’ they put me on I gained weight and got punished for ‘cheating’ on my diet, when my dearest dream was always to be thin.
%kelly the kitchen kop% via Facebook says
sounds to me the poor thing needs a detox and off junk food and no more antibiotics At the age of 8 her body should recover fairly quickly, but will her psyche?
%kelly the kitchen kop% via Facebook says
D-Mannose! That’s what I was trying to remember the name of! Yes, that’s good stuff! 🙂
Lee says
Kids need healthy fats – making sure she gets enough through eggs, coconut oil and coconut milk in smoothies, cod liver oil, and organ meats will help curb snack cravings. Replacing soft drinks with kombucha will help further reduce sugar cravings and help to balance body ecology/UTI issue. Homemade kombucha is much more likely to be well received than the bottled stuff- at least what is available here is very tart and most kids don’t like tart. But our homemade kombucha is a favorite with my kids. No more soft drinks here! Get her outside in the sun (hard to do in winter, but still fresh air and exercise are important for kids!) Find a team sport or activity. Girls softball teams here are super supportive and a great way to get extra sunshine and exercise. Skateboarding, bike riding – anything to get the metabolism revved.
%kelly the kitchen kop% via Facebook says
Poor kid. I went through the same thing at her age. Turned out that I had a partial blockage in my urinary tract. It prevented me from fully emptying out, which is probably why I kept getting them. They actually had to go in and physically break it up. Haven’t had an UTI since, but I do panic if I have to go more than once every 2-3 hours. Lately, I’ve noticed that when I’ve had gluten that I seem more prone to the “have to pee, can’t pee” feeling.
%kelly the kitchen kop% via Facebook says
Have the UTI cultured and use antibiotic that works for the particular strain(s) and wipe it all out then ya as above, grain free, probiotics get this sweeties health back!
%kelly the kitchen kop% via Facebook says
I’ve used D-mannose to help prevent UTIs, in addition to the rest of the suggestions.
Amy says
One of my favorite authors has a saying that “You are never free from something you focus on.” So, while it is important to be educated and practice healthy nutrition, sometimes that’s just shifting the focus from one area of food to another area of food, while not addressing the psychological issues behind being overweight. Either way, you’re either trying to get food or stay away from it – your obsession is still food. Cutting out entire food groups will most likely cement a stronger food addiction. Especially in someone so young. I struggled with eating issues for years until I was able to learn how to pay attention to my body and “eat when hungry, stop when full” and meet my other needs in proper ways. Dr. Megan Osborne has a great site (shapedwithlove.com) and books for kids (Tummy Talk) about eating issues (it is Christian-based), and Arthur/Judy Halliday have a program on learning how to shift one’s focus from food to health and wellness without instituting a bunch of restricting rules. When you heal someone’s heart, their behavioral and health (ie. weight) issues often resolve themselves. Sounds like this darling girls is carrying her emotional struggles on her body. By the way, I struggled with recurrent UTIs in childhood, too! But mine was due to a narrow urethra. After a minor procedure to widen it, I’ve had few issues since (usually from dehydration!), and D-Mannose takes care of any problems .
%kelly the kitchen kop% via Facebook says
You can also get cranberry in capsules which will do the same thing as the juice but without the sugar content of drinking so much juice. GAPS is probably going to help the most, eliminate grains, sugar and get a good strong probiotic! She probably needs to see a holistic practitioner to battle something this ongoing and stubborn.
%kelly the kitchen kop% via Facebook says
We also dealt with the back and forth parenting time/differences thing. Depending on the parenting schedule and relationships involved, changes in diet and the way they are made may need to be carefully considered and carried out. Otherwise changes may backfire in a number of unexpected ways.
If your friend would like some coaching on how to handle implementing changes you can give her our info.
%kelly the kitchen kop% via Facebook says
This is good advice. I was cringing when I saw the headline because I have such a problem with the focus our culture has on obesity. So I was pleasantly surprised by the content.
If she has health issues of course those need to be addressed, and maybe even with a special diet. But size in itself is not the thing to focus on, and neither are calories or portion control. If a special diet or changes to the food that is available are made, it needs to be clear to EVERYONE involved that this is not about size. It is about clearing the uti, or having more energy, or eating something yummier, or supporting the environment, etc.
I like the blog https://familyfeedingdynamics.com/ It’s especially good for folks with a history of eating disorders, who are trying to do the right thing for their kids. I don’t agree with everything on there, but the fundamentals of the approach are good.
The Healthy At Every Size https://www.haescommunity.org/ stuff is good, too.
btw, If sugar cravings are a problem, L-glutamine may help reduce them. I wish I would have known that when I first cut sugar and grain!
Joy says
btw, If sugar cravings are a problem, L-glutamine may help reduce them. I wish I would have known that when I first cut sugar and grain! 🙂
%kelly the kitchen kop% via Facebook says
I agree with going grain free gluten free, we found once grain and sugar out of our diet we no longer had as many cravings for eating, we now eat smaller amounts and feel full
%kelly the kitchen kop% via Facebook says
I had the same experience myself with the antibiotics. They kept giving me the same one, and it never totally got rid of the infection, so it kept coming back. This went on for a few months before I found someone to give me a different antibiotic, and it went away for good. If that’s not the issue, one hygiene problem I would double check is to make sure she’s wiping front to back. Cranberry is ok, but my chiro recommended something called manipol (I may have misspelled that, and sometimes it’s called beta-mannan, but it’s basically the same stuff). I think it’s an aloe extract that does the same thing as cranberry extract, but more efficiently.
I feel so bad for her poor gut! Hopefully they are at least making sure she is getting some kind of probiotics. Going grain and sugar-free would definitely help her, but I have to wonder if it’s feasible, considering she’s spending a lot of time with someone who doesn’t even make sure she bathes regularly…
%kelly the kitchen kop% via Facebook says
I know most of you are not going to be happy with this answer but if it helps this little girl get relief…My sister battled with recurring UTI’s for years (over 10 yrs I think). She changed dr and the new dr (don’t know what kind) put her on a very different antibiotic and that cured them. Basically the other antibiotic was not getting all of the infection just reducing it enough that she was symptom free for awhile.
%kelly the kitchen kop% via Facebook says
Gaps or body ecology would do it. What DOES she eat is what i wonder?
%kelly the kitchen kop% via Facebook says
I agree with Merry, she should definitely go grain and sugar free. Cranberry juice can only really help if it’s pure, with no added sugar (which is difficult for even me to drink, and she’s a little girl). Her diet should consist of meats, veggies and fats. Getting these healthy food groups in, while eliminating the sweets and grains with drastically improve her immune system, and will help her lose weight.
%kelly the kitchen kop% via Facebook says
My mother-in-law used to have constant recurring UTIs (for YEARS!) ….until she went grain free. She has not had any since (almost a year now).
%kelly the kitchen kop% via Facebook says
A few thoughts pop into my mind: 1. Unless there are extreme hygiene issues, that alone shouldn’t cause recurring UTI’s, there has to be some other major immune system issue going on I would think…which of course leads me to think of the GAPS Diet. 2. What kind of diet does she eat besides ‘limiting the sweet snacks’? I did a post once on helping overweight kids: https://kellythekitchenkop.com/2008/03/overweight-kids-16-ways-to-help_26.html
%kelly the kitchen kop% via Facebook says
A question from a friend (my friends know how smart all of you are and know to ask me to ask you for help with burning questions!): “A co-worker knows I am into “real food” and natural preventative/treatments when possible. She wondered if I could help her with an issue that her grand daughter is having. First of all, her grand-daughter is 8 and is very overweight (almost 100lbs at 8 yrs old)… She’s been tested for diabetes and all sorts of things, but no answers are coming up. The problem at the moment is that she has recurrent UTI’s – at least once a month she is getting put on antibiotics to clear them up. It always clears up, but comes back again. They are currently working with her on hygiene issues thinking it may have something to do with the recurrent infections (she’s from a divorced family and when she’s at her dad’s house she doesn’t bathe/shower regularly). They also limit her sweet snacks and try to get her to eat as healthily as possible. She’s tried cranberry juice, etc., with no change in symptoms. She’s also had the ultrasound/scope thing to check for kidney reflux and that doesn’t seem to be a problem either. Can your readers offer any suggestions that I can pass on to her? I told her I’d ask you all since you always give such great advice and insight!!!
Gina A. says
Good post!
I am reading Julia Ross’ The Diet Cure right now and would like to add that if these measures don’t work for some reason, they might benefit from some temporary amino acid therapy to stop cravings and balance blood sugar, etc.
jennie says
You’re a great lady, Kelly. Great post. God Bless.