OK my supportive reader friends, I need your advice again. Today I'm sharing a little homeschooling update, and as usual, my requests for help are sprinkled throughout — thanks for always being so willing to help me on this crazy homeschooling journey! (If this topic doesn't grab you, no problem. Before we were homeschooling it wasn't a hot conversation for me, either. So there are loads of posts over in my archives — almost 2000 actually, and you probably haven't read them all – maybe go take a peek at those?! And if you've thought about signing up for my Real Food for Rookies online class, that's on sale for 25% off for a limited time with the code 25OFFDEAL — go here to learn more.)
Top 5 Things I Love about Homeschooling:
1. Watching the bus go by knowing my kids get to stay home with me where I truly feel they belong. It always gives me a warm fuzzy. 🙂
2. The flexibility of our schedule! Not having to rush them out the door every morning and rush them through homework after school, then rush them into bed to do it all over the next day. (Did you see this latest news article? Let Them Sleep In: Docs Want Later School Times for Teens.) I usually get up early and work for a couple of nice, productive hours, then off we go.
3. Having the time to do read-alouds in our PJ's with hot cocoa or vanilla steamers. Reading them stories on the lives of the Saints or laughing with them through a book like Cheaper by the Dozen. Or time for a quick game of our current favorite before we start school, for morning snuggles, or for baking up an afternoon treat.
4. The time to nourish their souls more with an extra daily Mass each week. The time to nourish their bodies more by feeding them good food and knowing I won't need to deal with crazy stuff like this or this. Plus I don't have to wonder how many candy rewards are given to them all. day. long. (Well, we do have a little of that at the homeschool enrichment building, but at least that's just one day a week.)
5. I love our curriculum, especially now that I've figured out how to easily combine stuff to lighten our load and how to condense my planning time down to only 2-3 hours/week vs. 5-6 when we began this program in our 2nd year. It's a ton of planning before we start in the fall, though, and I'm in the midst of that right now! (Thank you to those who have reminded me to chill out and that after the summer we've had, I wouldn't have to start right when the public school kids do, but we all really need a routine again around here!) The faith-based everything is awesome, from spelling to history to reading, and now I'm no longer wondering if we're covering enough of the right stuff, which I fretted quite a bit over in our first year when I didn't have any formal curriculum guidance. This year we're using the same curriculum only not officially enrolling. Sending in all that paperwork was a huge pain, and expensive too, but some feel it's worth it for the support. I'm glad I did it to get one year of transcripts for our son, and now for his last three years of high school I'll just mimic that transcript and do it myself. Plus this way I can easily swap anything out if I find another way to teach a subject that works better for our family.
Top 5 Things I Don't Love about Homeschooling:
1. Some days, watching the bus go by in the morning, knowing my kids are staying home with me all day is a little tough, because at times I feel like I may go insane with the teasing and complaining and nit-picking at each other! (I have to keep regularly taking “my all natural chill pill“!) Any tips on that dear reader friends?! I usually send them off to their room or take away privileges, but MAN it can wear on you! It makes me crave alone time. (Yes, I know that in a few very short years I'll have more of that than I'll probably want and I do keep that in mind, but Moms, you know what I mean…) Although getting up early to work uninterrupted really helps!
2. The math struggles with our daughter. However, I've seen a big improvement since we've switched from this program over to this one — she needed more repetition so it's really helping, although it's more work so she doesn't love that and complains a lot. She is a dream when it comes to the rest of her work, though, and is usually the first one done, and then she wants to go make dinner! 🙂
3. The whining from our youngest about doing his writing, ugh, “Just DO it and you could've been DONE an hour ago!” I've said that so many times. Any tips for me? Break it into smaller chunks you say? Tried that, the whining is the same. Maybe he's not ready for writing you say? He's going into 4th grade though, I can't just chill about it forever can I? (Thankfully HE knocks it out of the park with his math and reading, each kid truly does have their very own strengths!)
4. The inability at times for our almost 10th grader to just. do. his. work. Especially getting him motivated to do his math — once he starts, he does well, but getting him started is not easy! Also I detest paper writing with both our middle schooler and high schooler. (So in both of these areas we're hiring our good friend who just retired from teaching to help us in those areas — she was actually our son's teacher before we began homeschooling — she's the one that got him really confident in math, and she's SO good at motivating him!)
I've learned to STOP nagging him (almost entirely) and he DOES eventually get through it — that's a key point here because I do realize he's just not good at jumping out of the sheets and getting his work done by noon like the other two often do, but that also makes my own day drag out, and when his other friends are home from school and done with their homework I feel SO sad that he can't hang with them because sometimes he's only gotten one subject finished! Yes, I can and often do let some work slide, but if all he's done all day is tease and distract the other two or lay on the couch saying he doesn't FEEL like doing any work, why should I cross stuff off his list for him? What kind of person would I be creating? I need your advice on this one before we start the year, friends! I try to remind myself that this is only going to be our 3rd year of homeschooling, and I'm very aware that starting when the kids are older is not easy, it'll get easier, right? Hopefully the tutor will be a huge help with all of this. He is a very polite, responsible, dependable kid, though, and keeps track of all sorts of pet-sitting or plant-watering jobs he's got going around the neighborhood, so I know he's turning out well, but I could sure use your advice on this one. Thanks!
5. The moments of doubt… “Am I really doing what's best for them?” And knowing that when they aren't getting it, it's all up to me. (Conversely, when they DO get it, what joy!)
I asked the kids what they love most about homeschooling…
“Staying in my pajamas if I want to.” “No homework.” “I get to stay home with my Mom and not rush to school every day.” “Sleeping in.”
What they don't love about homeschooling…
“The curriculum! It's too much work!”
Now share your own list in the comments — what do you love and what don't you love about homeschooling?
Are you thinking of homeschooling? Here's how we came to this off-the-wall (for us) decision: If You Thought I Was Crazy Before, Wait ’til You Hear This One. I just read that again and it brought tears to my eyes, I'm so thankful God led us here…
Samantha Jacokes says
We are in our 2nd full year of homeschooling (I think we started shortly after you). My boys are 10 & 8. They HATE writing! LOL! We started doing Classical Conversations this year and my 10 yr old has to do the afternoon program, which is heavy on IEW based writing and grammar. So far, so good. Especially when someone else is telling him that he has to do this writing. 🙂 I also REALLY like Brave Writer (specifically The Arrow program) for writing. You do a read aloud book over the course of 4 weeks and corresponding writing & dictation related to the part of the book that you read. The Arrow teaches writing, grammar, spelling, etc, and it’s all tied to a book that they actually like.
We also started with Teaching Textbooks and then made a move to something else. For my 10 yr old we are just buying the consumable “Keys” books. Keys to Fractions, Keys to Decimals, Keys to Percents. They are inexpensive and I think it should get us through this 5th grade year. My 8 year old does not like math at all so we are doing Math on a Level, which basically just has him do 5 math problems a day. No more tears and complaining about math! YAY! Also, if you have someone who doesn’t want to learn multiplication tables, we have the Memory Joggers and the basic times tables are done in rhyme with characters. Also a plus for my 8 yr old. 🙂
Kristie says
This is my first year homeschooling my son, and we are about a week in. I am excited and scared. It’s a lot of pressure, and I just hope I do a good job. I can totally relate to the section on getting your son to do his writing; my son is the same way! If we are reading or discussing the material, he is very engaged and eager to learn, but once he needs to write (vocabulary words and definitions in particular), it is a battle. Hope it gets easier, but if it doesn’t, I at least hope I am benefiting my son by teaching him myself. Thanks for the article, it’s nice to read about others’ experiences.
Jennifer says
Going into year 11 of homeschooling this year (and actually was homeschooled myself), so a couple of tips for you:
1. On the math…is she completely solid on her math facts? This made a HUGE difference between hours of math with tears, and 20-30 minutes of math happily done. If she still hesitates or has to think about any of her math facts, that can be a big contribution to feeling like she can’t do it. I really like Calculadder and Learning Wrap-Ups for getting math facts ingrained quickly and easily. When my almost-15 year old was beginning 6th grade, we had a huge beginning-of-the-year meltdown over math. It took me way too long to identify that his math facts weren’t solid (something I’m still embarrassed about!). But up until that point, he had been able to get by…it just took a while. But when you’re doing things like fractions multiplication and division or multi-step pre-algebra problems, you cannot continue to “get by” by adding 9 to itself 7 times instead of KNOWING the answer to 9×7 – a 30–problem math lesson is going to take hours. So we completely stopped doing his Saxon 7/6 for a month that year and did 45 minutes of various math drilling every day instead. Then we picked the Saxon 7/6 back up and he was good to go.
2. Writing. I highly recommend you check out Andrew Pudewa’s lectures: Here – https://iew.com/shop/products/teaching-boys-other-children-who-would-rather-make-forts-all-day-audio-download here – https://iew.com/shop/products/reaching-reluctant-writer-andrew-pudewa and here: https://iew.com/shop/products/mastery-learning-ability-development-and-individualized-education-andrew-pudewa One of the things that Mr Pudewa really opened my eyes about was the fact that you cannot get OUT of a child’s brain something they don’t already have in it. A child, especially a boy, at a 4th grade level, has an incredibly difficult time writing “from scratch”. For one thing, there are separate areas of the brain for thinking, writing, spelling, handwriting, and imagining. So each time he has to decide what to write, then think of the sentence that describes that, figure out which word comes first, figure out how to spell it, remember how to write each letter, then go back through the process all over again to get the 2nd word down. It’s INCREDIBLY frustrating! At that level, we do dictation (tell me what you want to say and I’ll write it down) and copywork. Still HIS thoughts put on paper by him, but skipping all the intermediary steps that tend to make kids (especially boys) hate writing so much. But again, check out Andrew Pudewa’s stuff – so encouraging and TONS of great ideas for a much-less-stressful homeschool journey! (Also, come to the 2015 homeschool convention in Cincinnati and listen to him in person!)
3. For your draggy child: Incentive/reward and disincentive/consequences. Using either one will simply create an ongoing problem. Actually, Mr. Pudewa addresses this in one of his lectures, but I’m not sure if it’s one of the ones I listed above. Anyway, doing the work has to have some incentive for him – enough that it overcomes his disinterest and is more motivating than whatever else he is doing. NOT doing the work has to have enough consequence that that it keeps him motivated to avoid the consequences. What that looks like in your home probably varies significantly from mine. I have a 17-year-old who does not do his work on a daily basis, but he is NOT a lazy or unmotivated kid. He just has a LOT going on and he has other things that he does in life that he wants to do more than school work. After a whole year of constant fighting with him, I discovered that if I simply gave him the week’s worth of school work and required it to be turned in before 5pm on Friday, he would get it all done. Now, for me, that does create a bit more work at the end of the week to do all the grading at once. But the stress level has decreased so drastically that it’s worth it to allow him to do things this way (plus he’s a pretty good student, so we don’t have to deal all weekend with corrections and re-doing work). So it might help to sit down with your kid and find out what is behind his lack of work ethic. Is he bored? Does he constantly get let off the hook to the point that he knows if he just drags things out long enough, he won’t have to do so much? Does he have other things he’d rather do (in this case, I’d ask if they are things that are gaining him real-world skills, and if so, might provide some leeway or balance between those and school work)? Some ideas for consequences/disincentives in our house include NO electronics/internet until school work is finished, loss of non-academic activities, earlier bedtimes, and in some cases, additional school work.
Praying for you guys as you start this year, Kelly. Take things slow and ease into it. Don’t want you guys burning out!
KitchenKop says
Jennifer, you are FULL of great advice and info!!!! I’m going to read it all back over slowly now and take each bit piece by piece. THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Kel
Peggy says
Just started our 24th year of homeschooling. Can’t begin to tell you how glad I am that I only have two high school students left! Homestretch!!
I know the writing thing is hard. If you can get to the “why” it might help, but that’s not always possible. One of my children has vision issues that make it very difficult for her to write for a long period of time. We use dictation software to get the words on the page, then she can edit in shorter sessions. I have a family of writers, though, and we have never had to really fight with them over it. Each November they participate in Nanowrimo, and that is a LOT of writing! We spend December and January and sometimes into the spring editing their novels. That’s enough composition for us, they have books they can self-publish and sell, and I don’t have to fight with them because they are writing what they want to write.
Math…now that’s a whole different kettle of worms. We usually only did Saxon through Pre-Algebra then moved on. Teaching Textbooks is our new upper level curriculum, but if I had to do it over (and was doing it now) I would go with TT for the whole thing. Saxon is just too schoolish for us.
The thing that took me a while to really fully implement was that we were homeschooling, not doing school at home. With very few exceptions, curriculum is written for a classroom experience, and includes way more busy work than my kids needed. I tend to stay away from those schoolish publishers now.
My youngest girl’s best friend is using all the same curriculum this year and we are scheduling a once-a-week get together all year. They can do Biology labs together, work through difficult math concepts, quiz each other on SAT vocabulary, speak French to each other, etc. The big “fun” thing though, is a unit study for history that I’m writing based on Doctor Who. We call it Whostory. The weekly get-togethers are my way of encouraging my youngest to get her work done on a daily basis since she tends to procrastinate.
KitchenKop says
24 years Peggy, youza! You’re a rock star in my world!
Thanks for sharing. 🙂
Kel
Debbie Thompson says
Peggy
My 12 year old daughter would be so excited to see Whostory. Will you publish it? I would be willing to pay for that!
Richie says
We started to homeschool this summer after our third year at a private Montessori school. We knew my husband was going to be in the middle of transitioning to a new job and we could possibly be moving. We have talked about homeschooling since the oldest (almost 6) was born. This was the perfect time to give it a try so we could be flexible with the timing and location of the new job. Just as we thought, my husband is going to be flying out of Chicago, so we are in the process of moving to Michigan from Texas. We don’t have to worry about getting the kids in school and we have just been doing school along the way. If it goes well this year, we will continue to homeschool since my husband is a pilot and will be gone most weekends. This will allow our family to have family time when he is home and we will have the opportunity to travel. Learning about the Civil War? Let’s go to Charleston! Learning about fish? Let’s go to aquariums around the country! Learning about US Symbols? Let’s go see the Statue of Liberty. You get the idea.
I am so thankful not fighting morning traffic to get the kids to school. We could be in traffic for over an hour every morning to get to school (only 20 miles away). No more waking the kids up and making them throw their breakfast down their throat before we have to leave. No more waiting in pickup lines! No more afternoon fights while the kids were transitioning back to “being with family.” We work together and take our time. Even yesterday while eating a picnic lunch at a rest stop, we were studying the ants around the covered area. We sat there for almost an hour talking about ants! No more rushing around from school, to tumbling, to dance, etc while keeping up with homemade meals for everyone. The kids would always ask me why I was always rushing them. I hated that! I am ready for a slower life – one we can actually enjoy. A life where we get to learn from each other and get to know and respect each other.
KitchenKop says
Oh I am so happy for you and this much better lifestyle!
Kel
Kristi says
Glad things are going well for the most part! We’re starting up our 3rd year of homeschooling, too. I love it for all the same reasons as you. And the kids bickering drives me nuts some days. I take GABA and 5HTP for my cranky pills. LOL I also try to keep them as far apart as possible while at the table. But I have an incoming 4th grader as my oldest and a 4 and 2 year old so my situation is different than yours. But, boy, can they argue! I try to remember that we’re doing this to know and mold their hearts and not just their minds.
I half my son’s math work as long as it’s just extra practice and I know he can do it. If he whines then I tell he can do them all. He usually hushes up and gets busy. 🙂
Can you have your son type things on the computer or do some things orally? Mine has dyslexia so we do a lot orally. I also break assignments up. Like one day he’ll do a rough draft then the next correct then the next rewrite. It makes things like papers take longer but doesn’t frustrate him as much.
Mine has a daily check list. No tv, tablet, computer, or playing (too much) til everything is done. I don’t care if it takes all day. It’s up to him. He’s learned, the hard way, to get busy and get things done. But again, he’s only 9, so this may change as he gets older. Hopefully your 10th grader will find the motivation.
Good luck this year!
Heather @ My Overflowing Cup says
I love homeschooling for all of the reasons you mentioned above. We have dad who works from home so the whole family is together all day. Regarding the stresses of getting the kids to do their school work, I try to keep things in an eternal perspective. Yes, they need to do their school work no matter what, but one day they will be standing before their Lord. At that point, what is really going to be important? I ask myself this question when things get stressful and it helps me keep my perspective. I hope it helps you, too.
Kelly Brown says
Well, Kelly, you are the reason I’m now starting our second year of homeschooling! I felt exactly like you did about it before, but when you posted something about losing your mind & it referred to your decision to homeschool, I started to feel God’s nudging! We started last year & love it, too! Is it perfect? No! But, there are many pros to the decision. A friend (that I was venting to because my girls were also constantly fighting, nit-picking, driving me out of my mind…!) reminded me that academics aren’t the only reason we do this. She said we do it to ‘pour into our kids’ for the short while that we have them home. It’s about so much more than school. It’s about instilling values, responsibility, morals, building family bonds, etc, etc. So, hard as it may be, I try to remind myself of all the reasons we love it & that the kids won’t be at home for too long. I had another friend remind me, like you said, that each kid has their strengths & passions & why force them into being a spelling whiz or a math genius if that isn’t the talent that God gave them…? We’re to help them build upon their God-given gifts!
I also wanted to tell you that my girls both strongly disliked Math when they went to school. Last year I tried ‘Life of Fred’ with them & they absolutely love it! We’re using it again this year. It’s totally self-directed & goes from preschool math to college! It’s not expensive, either, which I liked! Check it out.
Kelly the Kitchen Kop says
I will check it out, thanks! And wow how cool to have been a part of your decision to homeschool, just as the many friends who were very influential and helpful in our decision, too! 🙂
Take care!
Kel
Amber Jackson says
Thank you for sharing this. My girls are younger, five and six, however a friend of mine has a fourth grader who struggles with writing but is excellent on the computer, she has excellent results with using the computer for an alternative writing option, as it is most likely the future or a large part of it. There is lots of research out there on this topic and the idea is beginning to circulate that teaching handwriting and cursive is almost outdated, just a thought to ease through this phase of schooling 🙂
Stacy says
I love NOT watching the bus go by in the morning because we are all still sleeping in!
When the whining and fighting get too much for me, I take a time out (not them). I will go to my office in the basement where I can’t hear them. Going for a walk would be a good idea too. I figure they are old enough and reliable enough to know better than to actually hurt each other so they get to figure it out on their own.
An outside writing tutor is a great idea. That’s basically what I did. I really like listening to Andrew Pedewa with Institute for Excellence in Writing (IEW). He says at the younger ages (grammar school/4th grade) not to worry too much about it. READING good books is far more important.
I would keep the consequences for the 10th grader. My boys can get their work done whenever they want as long as it’s done by deadline. If they want to wait until the day before and cram everything, they can’t come whining to me. They have to buckle up and get it done. After a couple times of doing that they came to me and we worked out a daily guideline together to help plan out their days/week.
Sarah says
Sorry, I forgot to mention above about Saxon. I was having so many problems with my daughter struggling through math last year. It was Saxon 7/6. What we changed for Saxon 8/7 for this year is that I am going through and picking out specific problems to work vs. making a blanket statement of evens, odds or 1-20. So far this has been working much better for her. She was getting so upset over the constant repetition that she was a wreck for most of the lessons. She is able to get her work done and without being so upset she is doing it successfully. She is still doing about 30 problems per lesson including lesson practice.
Sarah says
Hmm…I would love to hear any tips on getting a very slow boy to get his rear in gear on chores. He is pretty good on school work, except writing. I guess all children/students have areas they struggle in with motivation to getting job done. It is good practice for perseverance for me and whichever child.