How to help teens with anxiety or depression? This is a tough struggle, but there are many ways to help…
One of my most visited pages here on the blog is a guest post written by my friend, Jill, about How to Fight Depression and Anxiety Naturally. It's bad enough when an adult struggles with this, but when it's our teens or preteens, well that can be even more heartbreaking.
Since the covid-craziness began there is a mental health crisis happening like our world has never seen, but even before that, it wasn't looking good out there. It's just plain TOUGH being a kid these days. There's hormonal changes, peer pressure, and it doesn't help that most people are eating denatured foods with few nutrients, which is an assault on our gut, and therefore our mental health is negatively affected. Then there's the overall decline in morals–our entire culture seems to be spiraling downward. Social media, and other media, perpetuates every shred of this immorality and makes it all seem “normal” to our vulnerable kids. Or they only see the “perfect” lives of others and assume there's something wrong with them.
Trust me when I say, from personal experience, that you must do your best to get on top of it now before it turns into bigger problems later, and before you're pressured into putting them on meds–which in my opinion should be a last-resort after trying natural remedies first, because there are so many that really do help.
Recently a reader in this situation emailed asking Jill for advice, so I wanted to share the conversation below in case it can help any of you going through something similar…
I visited your page today on healing anxiety naturally. I am a father of an 11 year old son who is showing some of these signs along with panic attacks, and I want to help him get over his fears and anxiety. Is there is a way to get in touch with Jill for some advice? She seems to be doing good for many years and is a great inspiration. Thank you so much for your help. You bring hope to a lot of people who go through this and want to get over it without using prescription drugs.”
Before Jill's reply below about how to help teens with anxiety, I've got a few ideas you could also try:
Don't get overwhelmed, just read through these and see what resonates to start. You can begin with 1 or 2 suggestions and add more later…
- Anxiety or depression is always a sign that our gut needs help. Read more here about building up your gut/immune system. (Some of what's mentioned there is also below, but not all of it.)
- Have you seen this post about my “All Natural Chill Pill“? I talk there about how eating low-nutrient processed foods with vegetable oils that are high in omega-6 fatty acids (or even too many nuts which are good for you but also high in omega-6's), can throw off your omega 3/6 balance which causes mood problems and digestive issues. Taking cod liver oil helps so much!!!! It's usually the FIRST thing I recommend for those with anxiety. (Use the code KOP at that link for a discount.) Either the pills OR the oil are fine–the oil is easiest to get more in, just have them take a teaspoon twice/day and chase it with food. Otherwise I'd suggest working up to 4 or more pills twice daily and you'll likely see a difference within a few days. (Also helpful is eating more pastured meats and cooking in fats like pastured butter, lard, and beef tallow, because these also provide more of the crucial vitamins A, D, and K that many are so deficient in.)
- Note that this probiotic alone has helped many people overcome anxiety and depression, so that's a must. Kent and I take 2 daily just as a “maintenance” dose, so with anxiety I'd suggest working up to 3-4/day just until they're better. (Start very slowly, even open up the capsule and sprinkle a pinch on food to start, just in case they're very sensitive. Some may have a “die-off” reaction–such as diarrhea–at the beginning when the gut is getting cleaned up. That means it's working, but it may not be pleasant.)
- Another inexpensive way to get more healthy bacteria (probiotics) into them is giving them dairy kefir or whole milk organic yogurt (especially delicious in superfood smoothies), kombucha, as well as a forkful of raw sauerkraut with meals. This also could cause die-off reactions, so start slow with these too if they're not used to eating fermented foods.
- Another powerful gut restorer is this colostrum (<– learn more about it at that link) which can be added to smoothies, yogurt, or just taken off the spoon. (Read more here: How to get more colostrum into your diet.)
- There's also info at the other anxiety post about the difference that the right homeopathic remedies can make!
- Keep this on hand: Rescue Remedy is a safe, natural supplement for episodes of anxiety that is popular for all ages, and even animals.
- Try this kids-safe essential oil: Happy Place. It's also good for helping kids and adults who struggle focusing. “Occasional anxiety is a common experience today, but going to a “happy place” can help encourage some much-needed feelings of calmness and tranquility. This soothing blend of herbal, floral, and citrus essential oils may help ease physical responses that may result from anxiety, such as agitation, restlessness, poor focus, and repetitive behaviors.” Also here's a new essential oil line for anxious kids: No Worries. Diffusing this in their room would be a good idea.
- A similar conversation came up recently on Facebook, so if you want to check out the conversation there, you might learn more that way, too.
- If the above doesn't prove helpful, I would also suggest seeking help from a local functional medicine doc or other natural-minded professional–ask a friend who they like or maybe you could get help finding someone via your local WAPF chapter?
Keep in mind that all of the technology our kids have at their fingertips has not been helpful, as most of us know. Watch the video here that goes with the photo above.
- It goes without saying that we can't underestimate the power of prayer. God loves our kids even more than we do!
Here's Jill's response, how to helps teens with anxiety:
Kelly sent me your email address and the message you sent her about your 11 year old son who is experiencing anxiety. All I can share is my own experience and observation with that type of thing, since, as you know, I'm not a doctor and can't give medical advice.
My husband and I noticed a similar issue in our own kids when they were about the same age as your son. They both experienced anxiety and depression, though being very different personalities, and one being a boy and the other a girl, it was expressed a little differently. My daughter is the older of the two, and the first to go through that difficult stage. An online search of panic attacks and anxiety in young teens led me to an interesting bit of information about that (if I recall correctly it was on a Focus On the Family website).
I read that low blood sugar can be a problem at that age, and can trigger anxiety.
So we began to observe more carefully and noticed that if she ate a bunch of junk food or sugar, she tended to have an episode of anxiety about 30 minutes later! If she skipped a meal it also tended to occur. We experimented and found, at least for her, when she started to feel symptoms (shakiness, nausea, anxiety, etc…) that if she had a protein shake/smoothie it would usually go away! Of course, I can't say that would help in your situation, but it might be interesting to try. For a couple years she carried a juice box and a bag of almonds with her wherever she went so that if she started to feel bad when she was away from home, she could eat a snack quickly, bringing her blood sugar up, and it would usually work well for her. We knew a couple other families at the time whose young teens (both girls and boys) had the same symptoms that also improved the same way. As a matter of fact, when we learned that our friend's daughter, who was her age, was experiencing the same thing, we encouraged the two to talk to each other about it. It helped them both to feel better knowing they were in good company and were able to understand and support each other!
My son, on the other hand, just seemed to have a rough go at puberty, but didn't necessarily have the same type of low blood sugar symptoms that my daughter did.
It is such a difficult age, I think for most kids!
Hormones are changing quickly, they are transitioning from childhood into adolescence, their understanding of the world grows and changes, peer pressures and challenges… So much so quickly. And it seems that kids that age (heck, even us adults) don't share with each other about those struggles, so as common as it is, most of them probably think they are the only ones! We encouraged him to talk with us (which seemed helpful), and tried to be as supportive and encouraging as we could.
The basic recommendations in the article I wrote for Kelly (<– click that link to read it) are probably good to apply to young people as well–eating a healthy diet, getting exercise and sunshine, adequate sleep. None of those approaches could hurt, that's for sure. There are some good websites–like Focus on the Family–that have great advice for parents with teens.
You probably know your son better than anyone else, so if you feel like his situation is more serious than common puberty difficulties, it might be a good idea to talk with a counselor–maybe a counselor at his school if you know of one you like and trust–or your son's doctor. I hope some of that is helpful. So sorry your son is struggling. It is painful for us parents to watch our children suffer. Bless you both! Jill
p.s. Rescue Remedy is a very safe, natural supplement for episodes of anxiety that is popular for all ages, and even animals. You might want to give it a try!
Jill, thank you so much for your help again!
If you have a teen who has struggled with this, would you be willing to share a little of your story in the comments below and what are YOUR suggestions for how to help teens with anxiety?? Thank you!
More you might like:
- Health benefits of colostrum for gut health (which helps with anxiety or depression!)
- Need help feeding your family a healthy diet without going crazy in the meantime? Check out my book, Real Food for Rookies.
Jackie Oliver says
It’s amazing that lots of junk food and sugar could be a cause for an anxiety attack. My son has always been very anxious, ever since we was a little kid. He’s a teenager now, and still struggles with it. I didn’t know that his diet could have such a strong effect on his mood. From here on out, I’ll be sure to monitor that much closer, so that I can make sure he eats better.
Alexandria Christina says
Kelly the Kitchen Kop I have begun a campaign to raise awareness about mental health issues and inherited mental health issues that lead to suicide. I was a depressed child myself that attempted suicide and now I am a teacher for deaf kids. My goal for the page is to start the conversation and help people understand. Its a topic that is not discussed enough and suicidal people isolate themselves. please like and share my page and help me inform those in need. Suicidal Genes
Jeanmarie Todd says
This is rampant here in Utah, particularly among LGBT youth who have been kicked out of their homes by their “righteous” parents. When you’re told that God’s plan has no place for you, that you are unworthy from your core, your very essence is somehow wrong, and that your family cannot tolerate your presence, well, very few youth on the street can survive that and the trauma of life on the street and exposure to sexual exploitation, etc.
Kelly the Kitchen Kop says
Wow Jeanmarie Todd — that is so sad, how God must weep because obviously that’s not true and He loves us all!
Jeanmarie Todd says
Kelly it’s really a sad situation. Because the Mormon church says homosexuality is a sin (at least “acting on it”) some members interpret this as reason to kick out their gay kids. I can’t easily explain it and there is certainly no justification for it.
Mary Jo says
Childhood sexual abuse is an issue often at the root of this problem as well. Only ten percent of sex offenders are actually prosecuted, and if it’s a legal parent, chances are that there is no way to stop it. The family court system does more to protect the perpetrator than it does the child.
LoriAnne Dunagan says
Sadly out of nowhere my friends son took his own life in June of this year, 8 years ago my dad took his own life. This hits close to home, because suicide doesn’t discriminate by age or race, or religion, or gender.
Nancy Johnson Morrison says
I just read this book which was very enlightening: https://amzn.to/2abEjcH
Rhiannon says
Australian Emergency Essence (Australian Bush Flower Essences) works as equally well as Rescue Remedy. It can also be bought as a spray and smells DIVINE! Works a treat for me. 🙂
Nik says
Rhiannon, can you please tell me if the bush essences have some sought of spiritual new age side to them or are they purely science based? I hope that question makes sense. I never know whether to try them because of this dilemma, would appreciate your input
Jill says
Personally, I think that people will place New Age meaning onto a lot of things as a way to explain how it works, but my opinion is that a lot of those things have more scientific explanations that we just don’t yet understand. Flower Essences (I’m guessing bush essences too) are in the category of homeopathy. The explanation for why some of these things work will vary depending on who you talk to. How other people explain how something works doesn’t deter me if it has a good track record and I feel it’s worth giving a try.
Kerry says
Definitely trying to destress kids’ lives is very important, giving them good coping skills, sleep, etc. But on top of listening often and thoroughly to what they think is going on, we have found that eating a very good diet is quite important. And supplementing when that isn’t enough. For my 13 yo girl, we use tryptophan and B vitamins, plus magnesium. But B’s don’t work for everyone and can cause anxiety for some. It seems that finding the right amino acid complex, plus magnesium usually helps most. Bone broth to the rescue!
Kathy says
We have a complicated teen, and had her tested through http://www.pyroluriatesting.com. She has extreme pyrrole disorder, which depletes zinc and vitamin B6. If anyone, or their child, is struggling psychologically, I would recommend looking into Dr. Walsh’s research. His book is Nutrient Power. Mensah Medical near Chicago treats patients with his protocol, http://www.mensahmedical.com. They also do out reaches in other locations. You can arrange testing and a phone consult without traveling to them through pyroluriatesting.com. I think pyrrole disorder is becoming more common as nutrition deteriorates and stress escalates in our culture. It is not well understood, but a big cause is oxidative stress.
hwang cho ryeon says
Dear,,
Hi.. please introduce myself,,My name is Hwang Cho Ryeon,,I am Asian,24 years old. I am unemployed. I have been fired from the job I was in twice. I can hardly find any other job bcs of my bad working experience on my cv.
Since then, I realized that I am a slow learner. I was fired bcs I did mistakes for so many times and didn’t understand the instructions properly.
Well, I have big problem with learning new thing. I used to be a very hardworker but still there always be some flaws on my work. My supervisor always mad at me like, “I’ve said it so many times!”. They did right thing. I didnt blame my previous supervisors who fired me. All I am blaming is my ability of learning and understanding.
Because of this,I know my weakness well. This leads me to have a terrible feeling when it comes to talk to someone, I’m always getting nervous and panic when I have to explain something. That’s one of the reason why I got fired. I have bad communication skill. Why, because I am afraid if I’m doing wrong.
Ever since the last day of my working, I haven’t applied for any job yet. I have traumatic feeling about getting fired. My mom always scold me and asking why I’m not looking for another Job. In fact, I never told this to anyone before include, (especially) my parents. I told them that my contract was terminated because I had to handle another job outside my Job desc. I didn’t tell them the honest reason.
I can’t even share this to my bestfriends bcs they are the people I am envy with. They are the people I wish I could be. They are now having good position in their company with good salary. I feel so much intimidated when we go out for cinema or just hanging out,, they’re all proudly spending their self-earn money and sharing their working experience. Meanwhile, I am still using my parent’s money,, and the leftover money from my last salary.Things are getting harder for me when they ask what my daily activities are. In fact Im just doing nothing at home.
I keep telling lies to everyone. I am really afraid to tell the truth and to be judged. Having myself as a slow learner has already become the most hurtful thing I have to face.
Now I am fighting so much againts my own anxiety and low self esteem. I am so afraid what if I never get a proper job.
I am really expecting for you to do me a favor about what to do? What am I supposed to do ?
I am so much thankful for your help..
Best Regards
Hwang Cho Ryeon
KitchenKop says
Hello Hwang Cho Ryeon,
I’m very sorry you’re having a rough time lately, but first of all, just know that this *will* get better, even though it doesn’t seem like it right now. I know that especially these days there is a lot of pressure on young adults your age, but I want to encourage you! First of all, the fact that you really desire to do well says a lot about your character, you are a good person who wants to do a good job, and please don’t let a couple of not-too-kind employers keep you from trying to get a new, better job!
Also, I have an idea as to why you may not be able to remember things as well as you’d like to: perhaps you are like me and very much a VISUAL person. Unless it’s something I’m super interested in, someone could tell me something and just a few seconds later it would be totally GONE, out of my brain. So I’ve learned that because I’m so visual, I MUST write certain things down so I remember. So in the future, when you find a new job, keep paper and pen nearby (or your phone where you can keep notes) and write it down if there’s something you must remember, or if there are a series of steps to follow for certain tasks. This might really help you!
Many very successful people have lost jobs in the past and went on to share their gifts with the world in new exciting ways. I am going to pray for you: I’ll pray that you have the courage to go out to find a new job, and that you’re led to one you love and do well at, and that you grow in your confidence.
Please feel free comment here again and I’m sure others here will be praying for you, too. Hang in there and know that God loves you and He is right with you cheering you on, and so am I. 🙂
Kelly
Martha says
The head of my college counseling office tested my IQ. I kept asking him when to stop– he said take all the time you want. I said, if I do, I may get more right. He said that’s the point. He said IQ tests are not that accurate anyway, and he was giving me one that was made to give to people in the US from another country, and thereby disadvantaged in US linguistically and culturally. I am slow in everything. After he graded the test, he said I had the capacity to go for a PHD. I feel everyone is a gift to the world, and who and what they have to give may not be discernible to some others, yet it is bright and brilliant as a shining star. Here is a lady who speaks well to that. https://soundcloud.com/melissa-la-flamme/what-you-are-for-melissa-la-flamme-live I took classical homeopathy, when I realized my suicidal ideation was out of control (due to family rejection), and with the first dose, I knew I was safe. I had been giving it to my cats, and I saw how it helped them. centerforhoeopathy.com homeovet .net And here are some other go-to sites I like. shirleyswellnesscafe.com westonaprice.org earthclinic.com
Fiona says
Ugh, so how is suffering from anxiety or depression being a wimp?? I’d love to know… Instead of casting judgement consider the root causes. For starters, there’s the dietary aspect. I’m pretty sure a lot of issues many have with depression and anxiety are caused by food (or at least, have some relationship to what they’re eating or not eating). But in kids it’s a whole different ballgame! I remember what it was like to be an outcast kid when I first started high school. I used to pretty much hang around by myself and I had no friends at my new school. Was I upbeat and happy? Well duh… of course not. I see my daughter going through the same thing now and I feel completely helpless.
The best thing I can do is try to support her nutritionally to eat foods that will help with her moods (it’s a bit of a battle…especially when her dad brings home fizzy drinks and treats on occasion), and reassure her that she’ll get through this. Counselling isn’t going to help her suddenly fit in with her peer group, unfortunately. And honestly, that’s a little bit of a mixed bag because I’m not sure I’d WANT her to be one of those popular girls who are into all the latest fads and stupid music and stuff. I’d be happier if she could be accepted for herself, but it’s hard when everyone else her age is just trying to fit in and not be “different”.
Anyway, calling teens and pre-teens with anxiety and depression “wimps” is hardly healthy or understanding of their issues.
Commenter via Facebook says
Yes, on top of everything else, malnourished africans also suffer from depression too. The idea here however is to use our community of concern parents to find a solution. Let’s spare the judgement.
Commenter via Facebook says
the real question is: why on earth would a (pre)teen have anxiety, depression or any type of stress symptoms? We got here though thousands of years and now we are wimps? (sorry that might be harsh on some). Do you think in malnourished africa they have the same problems?
Sarah Elizabeth W. says
I just wanted to quickly respond, to the post itself and to a couple of the replies. First, it’s an excellent topic to bring up, the more it gets brought up the better. I think it’s the kind of thing that while it’s an emotional response to stress this is a blog about food and how well stress is managed is related to that. A good diet can surely help. So many things are related, too, i.e. how well you sleep is related to how well you eat, and how much sleep you get affects how you deal with emotional stress, and so forth.
And as for Kelly’s response on Facebook, I’m kind of floored. A kid with anxiety and depression is a wimp? No one who has these is a wimp. Yes, it is harsh, and callous. And I’m curious about your question: Why on earth would a preteen have anxiety, depression, or any type of stress symptom?
Is that meant to be sarcastic, or are you actually asking? It’s hard to believe it’s the latter.
Kelly the Kitchen Kop says
That wasn’t my comment, Sarah. It was a commenter on Facebook.
Kelly
beekeeper says
Yes, they have the same problem, and worse, in malnourished Africa. It gets little attention, because they have other more serious problems.
And you don’t have to be sorry about the “wimps” remark. Some people have wimpy brains to be thinking that way. Not your fault you said it.
Commenter via Facebook says
L Theanie…within 15 mins takes hold.
Commenter via Facebook says
GAPS diet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
ValerieH says
I have benefited greatly from talk therapy and from EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). I have read a lot of psychology and spiritual growth books and have taken classes and workshops. The most important thing I learned is
– emotions begin with thoughts. You can’t have a negative emotion without a thought that generated it
– don’t believe everything you think
– mindfulness and becoming aware of your thoughts makes a huge difference before going down an emotional rabbit hole (Help available through EFT, Sedona Method or Neuro-Linguistic Programming).
That being said, nutrition also plays a huge role. I think they go hand in hand. Macronutrients (carbs, protein, fat) and micronutrients (vitamins and minerals) are extremely important. Getting enough quality saturated fat benefits moods. B vitamins and magnesium help very much with stress. Nutrient dense foods include minerals in everything that is eaten. Sleep is also a key factor.
When kids are as young as 11, they aren’t able to be as aware as adults. We need to provide them a healthy environment and teach them how to live that way as they take responsibility for their adult lives. There was a time when all food was Real Food and we didn’t have to watch this part of it.
ValerieH says
2.5 years since I posted the above, my 11 year old is struggling with anxiety. She feels vulnerable and out of control. It started when she was transferred to another school for the gifted program 2 years ago. She didn’t miss the old school because some classmates were also moved with her. She felt a lot of pressure in the new school. Some of her behavior was familiar. She acted in ways we had seen before but just thought it was something kids do. Now we could see a pattern that was a lot older. She would not do EFT with me or do any of the things I have studied to help with this. Immediately in the new school year, she required someone to sit in her room when she fell asleep every night. If she woke in the middle of the night she asked her dad to sit with her again. We tried natural sleep remedies such as essential oil blends on a tissue, sleepy time teas, valerian root, gaba, kava kava, and homeopathic sleep remedies. After a short time they didn’t work for her anymore. She refused to try listening to relaxation or meditation audios on an iPod. We spent a ton of money in counseling. Just last month I found a chiropractor that has a targeted nutrition wellness program, based on specific testing. She is taking probiotics, some supplements and also homeopathic remedies. She is very motivated to follow the program due to how much she is suffering. She and I have a lot of hope that this will correct imbalances in her system that trigger her emotions. Perhaps she will still need counseling but the physical blockages will be lessened from this nutrition therapy.
Anna says
I’m sure blood sugar can cause anxiety issues, but I think it’s about a million times more likely that the cause is emotional in nature. People are so eager to think depression and anxiety are physical in nature, but they are much more likely to stem from emotional stress.
I would suggest the father talk to his son and try to figure out what is behind the anxieties and fears. It’s an opportunity to help his son deal with the stresses of life, not just take a pill or use food. Life is incredibly stressful for kids today. Some things to consider are: is it possible he’s being bullied, or is there something going on in his group of friends? Maybe he’s stressed about starting to feel hormonal changes or attraction to girls. Is he stressed because of things going on in the world? Maybe he needs help thinking about and putting things in perspective. Is there parental pressure going on? Is there another dysfunctional situation?
Please consider and address the possible emotional causes first. Going through life with heavy emotional stresses will cause physical and mental health problems in any person.