Below is the story of how out of nowhere I was called to begin homeschooling our kids. This post led to many others as I slowly figured out what I was doing, so you can click here to find all of the homeschooling updates over time.
——————————————————————-
Today's topic isn't food or health related, but I do think it might interest a lot of you.
If not, I'll be back to my normal topics next time. And hopefully you'll hang with me to the end of this post, where there's a twist in the story that I totally wasn't expecting…
Most of my family and friends already know what a weirdo I am about food, and now this.
They'll think I've officially become a hippy and that there's no hope for my return to sanity. (Although there are already many ways that I'm not ‘normal'.) I can't even believe any of this myself. Most people I know who hear about our plan have said, “I never pictured you doing that.” I tell them, “Neither did I!” This was never on my radar, and never something that crossed my mind for more than half a second before I dismissed the thought, knowing without a doubt that it wasn't what I was called to do.
Until the phone call.
On Friday, April 27th, I was on the phone with an advertising client, Alicia. Before we spoke, she'd mentioned in an email that she homeschooled. As we talked on the phone that day and got to know each other, it became apparent that not only does she work from home like I do, but she also works a lot of hours like I do.
So I asked, “How in the world do you work full time from home and homeschool too?!”
She explained that because she's not teaching 25-30 kids like traditional teachers, they can finish school in the mornings and she can work in the afternoons. When her husband gets home, she'll often work in the evenings, too. Somehow it just works out because there can be so much flexibility. And then she told me the main reason she began: because homework was taking over their lives, and their son was struggling in school.
All I could think was, “That's us!”
Math is difficult for our 4th grader and to make matters worse, the required curriculum wasn't a good fit for her, so homework all year was a long drawn out, torturous affair every evening. Our 7th grader also had loads of homework each night, and very little free time just to be a kid. This homework issue wasn't a matter of the teachers assigning too much, by the way, because other kids in their classes were getting it done in school or at home in a half hour or less. We finally figured out that our kids just learn differently, and getting through homework was a bigger struggle for them. At the time, all we knew was that we were worn down and sick of the crazy train every single school night.
Surely there was a better way.
So my wheels started to turn with that phone call and haven't stopped since. A switch was flipped. Hope took hold…
Could we actually have a family life again? Could I teach our kids in a way that is best for them? Could they actually have time to be kids and explore their interests, not JUST what the teachers assign for that evening? Could we start each day without me rushing the kids out of bed, through breakfast and onto the bus, and later rushing them through homework and back into bed to start it all over again the next day? Shouldn't we try this for the chance that things could be better, at least for one year?
Of course the doubts were there, too…
What if I screw up our kids and their future? How in the world will I get them ready for college? I already can't get my work done while the kids are in school, how could I fit homeschooling 3 kids into my day? What about the common “they need socialization” issue? We live in a wonderful, family oriented school district and I love our schools (for the elementary age anyway), but taxes are high–should we spend more money on expensive curriculum materials? Where will the money even come from when we have braces and broken water heaters and college expenses to cover?! I've never been “teacher” material! Will the kids drive me nuts some days? Every day?!
I was right on the line. Half of me said no way, the other half said, “I'm sure there are others out there less equipped than I am, I just might be able to pull this off…”
Over the next week this consumed my thoughts every waking moment. I called all of our friends who homeschool and picked their brains for hours. Kent wasn't convinced (and was worried because I'm already spread too thin), and neither was I yet.
Parts of me were scared to death, but as time went on the thought of not doing it, and just continuing the path we had been on, began to scare me even more.
I was in Mass the Wednesday after that first phone call, thinking of how illogical this whole idea was, because most people who work full time don't also try to homeschool their kids, it's just nuts!
Then I was overcome with emotion as I felt a strong sense that God was saying to me, “I call people to the illogical all of the time. Trust me.”
I had prayed that He'd make this very clear, because the whole thing was way out of my comfort zone and something I'd never even come close to doing before. He answered that prayer and then some–it's not often I feel like He spoke to me so clearly!
There was another major confirmation with our daughter. I'm close friends with her teacher and we were out to dinner one night where she was lamenting about how she was sick of shoving this required curriculum onto these kids who it wasn't right for. Then a bullying incident happened with our son at school and the way the administrators handled it had me fuming. Another big clue that God was doing something in my heart was the way that it stirred such hope and excitement inside of me, even though I knew the amount of work that it would require.
By now I was about 95% sure that this was what I was being called to at least try, but knew that first I needed Kent's support. He said that he was just worried that he'd come home every night to an “atomic stress kitten“. I couldn't blame him for feeling this way since I already worked too much with my sometimes stressful home business. But I asked if he would support this crazy idea for just one year? God bless him, he agreed. Since then he's been on board more and more, and is also getting really excited about the many possibilities and how far we could take the kids with this. Not to mention that we'll get our evenings back!
Done. The decision was made. Peace flooded in. It's not logical, but God will smooth the path. I'm sure of it.
It's a strange and amazing feeling to be so convinced of what we're supposed to do. Especially since it was NO where even close to our thoughts just two weeks prior.
There's nothing to lose anyway, the risks are low; but the possible benefits are HUGE. And if we hate it, we could always go back if God calls us in another direction later. Since our son is going into the 8th grade, everyone says this is a great year to give it a go before it all “counts” in high school.
Next I prayed, “OK, Lord, I have no idea what I'm doing, I need help with what to do next!”
So as I keep putting my toe in further, He keeps showing me the way. Since we do have so many friends who homeschool, they've been helping me figure out the curriculum issue. Just so I don't bore everyone to death in this post, I'm going to go into the details of my many curriculum questions over on this page (and I especially can't wait to hear your answer to the very last question), so for those of you willing to share what has worked for you, I'd love to get your advice over there!
I am so thankful to all of you homeschoolers who have come before us, blazing the trail:
Getting your homeschooler into college is fairly easy these days from what I've heard. And gone are the days of “socialization” even being an issue–there are homeschool band groups, homeschool sports groups, homeschool coops, and even homeschool classes with paid teachers to fill in the gaps where parents aren't confident. Homeschooling is no longer the wacko, “out there” option that it once was. There are even many inexpensive curriculum options if needed, too.
The reactions from our friends and family have been interesting.
When I tell the whole story, people totally get it and say, “Why not, it's worth trying for a year. You have to do what's best for your kids.” I thought my Mom, being older, would think I was nuts, but she also thought it was worth a try. When I told our teacher friends and my sister who is a teacher, not one of them tried to talk us out of it like I expected. Every single one was supportive because more than anyone, they know how broken the system is. (The government has screwed public schools up as bad as they've messed up our food supply and Americans' health with their nutritional advice!) The state is constantly cutting funds so class sizes grow, wonderful programs are being cut, and more and more testing is required so teachers have little time to teach beyond just what kids need for the tests. Pennies are pinched to the point that at my sister's school, the teachers had to work at McDonald's one evening for a fundraiser so they had money to buy paper to last them the rest of the school year!
Not to mention the scary stuff going on in junior high and high schools, unrelated to funding.
Sadly, there are more and more dysfunctional families out there due to health issues, the struggling economy, stressful jobs, the general breakdown of families and morals, etc., and the effect on kids is devastating. Bullying is on the rise, sexual stuff going on at younger and younger ages, teenage suicide is out of control, drugs and alcohol abuse… On the other hand, I firmly believe that the way we've coddled our kids in the U.S. also has a huge part to play in all of this. Because our kids have had it too good (I'm not pointing fingers, the same is true for our own kids), often they just can't handle it when things get a little difficult. (I'd love to know your thoughts on that theory…)
Navigating through these years can be tricky to say the least, much more so than when I was a kid, and it was no piece of cake then either.
Some kids have no trouble moving through all of these academic and social minefields and they do fine in a school setting, but ours were struggling, so I'm thankful for a way to get them out of that unpredictable mess. I don't want to shield them from a little adversity which brings growing and learning experiences, but I most certainly do want to shield them from dangerous experiences until they're mature enough to deal with them appropriately or in a position to know how to avoid them in the first place.
Parts of me are a little sad about what we'll miss. Mostly related to events with the younger kids and their elementary school, because let me tell you, I love this school.
It's right in our neighborhood, the staff are really good people, and many of the teachers are my close friends. Our oldest son, who is finishing his second year of college right now, started there in the first grade, so it feels like home. Helping out regularly and popping into my kids' classes at any time for this or that is normal and welcome. But it's all a trade-off. We're giving up something really good for what will hopefully be even better, and if after a year it's not working out, we can always come back.
I can't wait to tell the kids, because I'm almost positive they'll be geeked.
I so badly want to tell our son, “I'm breaking you out soon buddy! You're going to have a life again! We'll have time to study things together that we love, like jets and weather!” I want to tell our daughter and younger son, “No more yelling you out of bed every day! We'll have time for morning snuggles and stories! We can go exploring in the woods!” It brings tears to my eyes to think of it. They probably won't love this part, but I'm also excited to have time to teach them life skills like cooking, cleaning and laundry, and then BONUS, that takes some pressure off of me. 🙂
Will it always be a cake-walk with the kids effortlessly moving through our school day? Highly doubtful. One friend said, “Ask Kent if you can be an ‘atomic stress kitten' just one night a week, because you'll have those days!” But that's life no matter what path you're on.
It's been a wild ride.
The complete change in my whole mindset can only be compared to my Christian conversion and my ‘food conversion‘, because it's been a total 180. It's the kind of thing that can only come from above. Our family life had been too crazy lately and no one was thriving, so I'd been praying for answers. I had no idea the answers would come in the form of homeschooling, but now I thank God for the way He worked in my heart and made it so clear.
I'm excited to see where all of this will take us.
STORY TWIST:
Remember the part above where I said how excited I was to tell the kids? How sure I was that they'd be so happy with the whole idea? I was convinced I'd get a Mother of the Year Award and that they'd be falling at my feet thanking me. I fully expected them to be so thrilled that I'd get to use the whole thing as leverage throughout our homeschooling career. I'd already heard how it would go in my mind… “Uh oh, you'd better knock off the complaining and get your work done, you don't want to go back to regular school do you?!”
Well I wrote all of that a few weeks ago and we waited to tell them until school got out last Friday. You can probably guess where this is going. We did not get the reaction I had expected. Our youngest is Mr. Happy and goes with the flow, so he thought it sounded like fun. Our other two firmly announced, “I'm not doing it.” They were worried about not seeing their friends of course, but we just said, “No homework EVER again, though!!!” They still didn't buy it. Thankfully I held back the tears, and we also held back the, “Oh yes you are!” statements. I just said, “Well, we're not fighting you through a whole year, that's for sure, so if you are really against it, I guess we'll have to figure out what to do now…” Part of me knew they'd just need to get their brains around the whole idea, but inside I was absolutely crushed. I had a good long cry and kicked myself for not seeing it coming. As some friends said, “You've never let on to them that this was an option, so it's understandable that it totally took them by surprise. Just give them a couple weeks and see what they say.” So that's what we did, and over the weekend we didn't bring it up unless they did. (I also moped around ornery all weekend and sent a lot of cries upward in frustration, “Wow, maybe I totally stink at figuring out what you're saying to us, God!“)
By the end of the weekend it looked like the kids might be coming around a bit, but right now everything is still up in the air. I really thought God was asking me to trust Him to smooth out our path, and IF I was reading all of that right, I know He'll still do that.
So for now I'm still going to ask you my detailed and desperate curriculum questions, and I hope you'll click over there if you have any experience in this area at all. Thank you!
More you might like:
- Homeschooling Update – It's a “Go”! (Plus a cute video: 7 Lies About Homeschoolers)
- Click here for ALL of the updates to our homeschooling saga
- A day in the life of our homeschool {VIDEO}
Carrie says
So it may not apply anymore, but how long did it take for YOU to warm up to the idea of homeschooling? It may just be as unrealistic for kids to be gungho about as we uncertain mothers are. 😉 just a thought.
KitchenKop says
I’d say probably about 2-3 weeks or so, from that first phone call onward. But right away I was filled with HOPE for our family, and all the good that could come of this idea! As time went on, as I said above in the post, the thought of NOT doing it became even more scary than the thought of homeschooling! I just kept talking to people who helped me realize that it’s not rocket science, and that I *could* do this. You can, too! 🙂
Kelly
Stevie says
As long as Logan, Dawn and I can get our KC fix once in a while you have my permission. 😉
KitchenKop says
Hey Steve, I had no idea you read my blog much, so it took me a LONG time to figure out what the heck this comment meant, LOL!!! I was just thinking about Logan today, have Dawn let me know when we can have him over again! 🙂
Ann Marie @ CHEESESLAVE says
Finally getting around to finishing reading this post and commenting.
I am so excited for you and your family, Kelly! Can’t wait to read your updates.
xoxoxo
lucia says
My sister has been homeschooling her four vegetarian children for 14 years. One tried school for 6 months and another for 2 days, they both made the decision it wasn’t for them. Also they’ve never had TV, just videos that were age appropriate. They are avidly into art, history, nature, and music.
As the aunt I see her family, then my other sister with one child who goes to a very small French immersion catholic school, my brother with two through public school, 3 through catholic public school, and then another brother with 2 through public school. It’s like a test case sample.
The first four of my sister’s are the most true to their age in character but so advanced in areas of imagination and artistry, social conscience and truly identify with a save the world from harm mantra. The second is lovely, sweet and beautifully educated with two languages, as a single child she’s enjoyed the benefits of attention, and is an avid reader. The others are great children but you can see the difference with their adult like behaviours, TV and video game focus, social media experimenting. Far more commercialised and disposable attitudes. All are lovely, polite and well mannered but there is a difference.
My husband and I have decided when our child/children come along they will be home schooled.
We wish you all the luck, energy, ingenuity, and patience. You’ve chosen an underappreciated route which I have only seen the best of children come from. We can only hope one day the education system itself recognizes the value and fixes itself to produce these truly individual and talented people that homeschooling can.
You can read more about the trials and tribulations of her journey.
http://www.everydaymaryblog.blogspot.com http://www.notyoureverydaymary.blogspot.com
Tamara says
I think that is wonderful! I do not homeschool, but have chosen a small Montessori school for my daughter’s education (it goes through 8th grade). What I love best about the middle school program, is that it takes place on a farm! Farming is incorporated into the curriculum (and this is in a Chicago suburb, not middle of farmland!). I choose to do this for many of the same reasons you are choosing to homeschool. I was a public school teacher for years and have no desire to go back to teaching there. That system is broken and I do not want my child to be a part of it. I always frowned upon homeschooling when I was teaching, but now that I have a child, am no longer teaching, etc., I absolutely see the value of it for some families. If I lived somewhere where I did not like the alternative school choices, I would probably homeschool too! Good luck! I am sure it will be a great success! Your children will come around. When they finish school at 11 am and can play and have no homework, I am sure they will enjoy it!
sahnya says
Maybe God’s gift in all this is not necessarily saying that homeschooling is the best answer for your kids, but that you do have options. Even if you opt not to homeschool; only homeschool for a limited time; or only homeschool one child you have already gained from the process that you have choices. I think that is the gift.
My kids are not homeschooled, but I love reading such experiences as yours as it helps re-affirm that if it is the best choice for my kids I could do it. At this point I am mostly happy with their experiences but know I could / would yank them out if that changed.
Holly says
As a homeschooler since 97 I would also say sometimes ya just gotta be the parent and say we understand your concerns but this is what we feel is best for you after much prayer … God made us the parents so ya just gotta trust us! The kids don’t have to be on board 100% to start. If you truly feel this is where the Lord is leading you then stand firm Mom … change is hard for everyone and it’s scary to the kiddos right now but if you show them the group you are going to join, that they will still be involved in activities and their real friends will still want to be friends it will work out!! 🙂 It’s a new adventure!!
Cultured Mama Dawn says
Go Mama!! Next step… unschooling! 😉
Kristina says
Kelly,
This is our EXACT story. I watched my son’s entire third grade year as all the innocence and wonder was sucked out of him and I thought to myself, this just isn’t right. Add in that the school wanted to drug our son and THAT whole mess is what led us to WAPF (yay, real food!). Homeschooling is the BEST decision we have ever made. Our first year was scary and a bit isolated but I was blessed to find the most generous and loving group of homeschooling mamas this side of the Mississippi. Our son is thriving. His lust for learning is back. His “behavioral problems” are gone. My relationship with him is based on love and respect not “do a/b/c or you’re grounded!” I could go on and on.
As for paths opening up, you’re right, they will. Our family is about to embark on a year long journey in a veggie grease powered RV. People scoff and ask me, “What about the kids school?” To which I smile kindly and reply, “your kids may read about the Grand Canyon, but my kids will be riding a mule to the bottom.” There truly is no substitute for family, good food, and experiencing the mysteries of the world together. Good luck and God Bless!
Krystal says
Count me in
KitchenKop says
Krystal,
Here’s the post you need to comment at to be sure and get the updates (not this one): https://kellythekitchenkop.com/homeschooling
Thanks,
Kelly
Krystal says
We are in a very similar place and I want to be updated
KitchenKop says
Krystal, be sure to comment at the updated blog post (there’s a link at the end of this post), because *that* one is the one that I’ll comment on when I add new posts, so you’ll need to comment there to get notified of the updates.
Kelly
Deb says
What a great opportunity! Definitely give them some time to get used to the idea, and if they could spend some time hanging out with other home schooled kids their age I’m sure that would help.
I was home schooled the whole way through. I did go through a few months of wanting to go to “regular” school, but talking to a few other kids my age who went to public school cured me. I honestly had no idea how much time kids spent AT school every day, then came home and did homework for at least another hour. I still remember what I was thinking, “When do you play? When do you get to cook? Does that mean no trips to the beach when you have it all to yourself? No running outside with your dog for three hours in the morning?” It just had never occurred to me that other kids didn’t get to do those things. I was always an early riser, so in middle and high school I got up early, started school, and was finished by 10am. Then I got to cook (which I loved, and still love) or whatever else I wanted the rest of the day. It also gave me tons of time for volunteer work, which gave me experiences I wouldn’t trade for the world.
My husband and I are planning on home schooling our kids when they’re old enough. I’m actually super excited to start!
Chaya says
My son sometimes questions what he misses, but what made the biggest difference in his WANTING to be homeschooled was a conversation with a friend’s daughter was was homeschooled but back in public this year. I asked her (it was a risk, i didn’t know the answer) which she preferred. She did not hesitate to say she misses homeschooling! So maybe finding kids they know and respect who are homeschooled? Here’s another thought. Find your local homeschool activity and speak to the coordinator. Maybe there can be a get-together or activity that your kids attend. This will be their new peer group (to a point) and it will show them that life is FUN this way, and the kids are normal 🙂
kristin konvolinka says
Maybe I’m not even qualified to say something since I’m not a mom and therefore I am not a home-schooler. But I think about parenting a lot. I think about how wonderfully amazing it would be to be blessed with a little soul to raise. Listen, with God all things are possible. You’ve obviously looked in the right place for answers. Who says those Government instituted teachers are better at it than you are? Mom’s are born teachers, you do it every day with the example you set for them in how you live you life. Yes, it’s a scary decision, but courageous too. The homeschooling community is huge and there are so many resources and so many people eager to help. I’ve also been thinking about the teachers in my life (I went to public school). I can easily say, none of them influenced me in a significantly positive way – nothing compares to what I learned from Mom and Dad – my most influential, intelligent and loving teachers. So go ahead, teach those kids of yours! You’ll be great!
Katie Bettendorf says
Kelly, I haven’t read the other comments so this was probably already mentioned but you have ALL summer to gt them involved in homeschool activities and other things where they can make NEW friends. Check facebook groups and Yahoo groups and even your local YMCA for homeschool groups in your area. We typically have fun stuff going on year round!!
tara says
I never thought I’d be anything but a ‘traditional school’ parent as well. I have three kids – the oldest going on his second year at collage and the second going to be a sophomore. They did fine in traditional school. My youngest was a mess in it. Three years ago I did a very scary thing and pulled him out at the end of third grade. I fumbled through for a few weeks (or months) but we love it now! best thing we did for him.
One thing to be aware of – if you do this be prepared for a rash of emotions to hit the first week of school when you see and hear all the other kids going off to school. You’ll doubt yourself, be scared, and ‘homesick’ for that first week of school feeling. That’ll pass. 🙂
Joy at The Liberated Kitchen says
I am so happy for your family! We have been homeschooling all along and my kids are now 11 and 13. During this time I have been a full time WAHM, full time SAHM, full time WOHM, part time WOHM, part time WAHM, single mom, and partnered mom!
Through all of it we have been able to maintain stability for the kids BECAUSE of my flexibility and ability to make ends meet one way or another.
If you want to talk about homeschooling in person feel free to give me a call at 503-913-0923 (yes, it’s fine if my number is public). I’d be happy to answer your questions and help you figure out what style of homeschooling will work for your family and the best approach for you to get started.
As for math, I can’t recommend Life of Fred highly enough. It has completely transformed my kids relationship with math!
Glenna says
To help the kids get adjusted to homeschooling try getting them interested in a learning project they can begin on this summer. Let them make a presentation to each other on what they learned. Let them use whatever media they choose. Computer, posterboard, booklets, creating a play, etc. They can have fun learning about something they are interested in. Give it a try. Then they will get an idea of how homeschool works. Good Luck.
Rich Zeck says
Kelly,
When God said, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” He did not say, trust in me sometimes, ask the kids first, try to figure it out on your own, He said, “Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart.” Kids can certainly be influential but got God’s got your back. So, so many of our homeschooled friends’ children have been more than blessed by being homeschooled. The family bound is even stronger and the education is one on one and the comprehension is two fold. You already have the Teacher supporting you! Peace sister 😉
Coffee Man
Jeanmarie says
Kelly, I think this is a terrific idea! I always wanted to homeschool my kids, I just didn’t have any (not the human kind, anyway). I second the recommendation to read anything by John Taylor Gatto. He’s also done lots of podcast interviews, in the School Sucks podcast series, the Peace Revolution podcast series, and probably elsewhere. You can probably find him on YouTube. His voice took getting used to but hearing his cut-to-the-chase wisdom and insight about what schools are *really* for is life-changing. I do so hope this works out for you, I hope your children come around. Best wishes!!
margaret says
We’ve been homeschooling for 8 years. Most of the time we love it, but we have days where I look longingly at the yellow bus stopping at the end of our driveway (literally at the end of our driveway). However, I know this is the best for our children, and I am happy to sacrifice my time for the good of my children. It is a blessing to share so much time with my children, and they are close to their siblings as a result. I would not change our decision, even on the difficult days.
I can say from experience (I was homeschooled through jr. high and high school) that socialization and academics are really red herrings. They are not the major issues that HSing detractors make them out to be. I have two college degrees, and had no problem at all at that level.
I would love to chat with you about HSing in the GR area if you need some encouragement!
Karen says
Homeschooling since 1996. Attended public school myself. Agree 100%.
I am not at all social, my kids are. Kids get/got 85% or better in worst subjects, I failed math 11. Twice.
One kid participated in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), achieved goal of fifty thousand words in novel form in thirty days three times, taught self enough Japanese to understand newsbroadcasts from Japan following earthquake and tsunami. Other is learning Russian, reads history books recreationally, finished reading James Michener’s “Alaska” tonight, makes Byzantine Chainmaille jewellery. Both want to learn more languages. I was bored silly at school, started first year able to read, was cutting most classes by the last year. Walked past the office, waved goodby, staff all waved back, I went home. Daily. I read books, taught myself skills I use regularly. Still don’t know whole times tables- the ones that equal 54, 56, 63.
Graduation ceremony/prom? Yeah, thanks, but no thanks. I didn’t go.
Kat says
I too have been wrestling with this issue. Our son learns differently. He’s not slow or has any learning disabilities, he just learns at his own pace. He barely made it into the 4th grade though. I have checked out Alpha Omega and they have a good, Christ-centered curriculum. Many public schools have a home schooling curriculum and there a lot of online schools too. I’m still on the fence. Congratulations on your decision. Yes, please blog about the process. I love all these comments. It’s helping me as well 🙂
JoAnna says
I know how you feel, Kelly. My 10th grader was homeschooled this past year because he begged us at the end of 9th grade. And my 1st grader was having a really hard time and my potential young 5 (this fall) just still isn’t ready for that – at least away from home. And we live out of the school district that our children have been attending for 6 years. I am tired of being the “school bus driver” especially since the older kids schedule is off by at least an hour from the younger kids schedule. So I was just sure that homeschooling was the answer (not to mention I do really think it can be a superior education if done right — which is different for every family). But now my 10th grader wants to go back to public school, my 1st grader “has adjusted” and now wants to stay in public school, and my husband has never really been on board with the homeschooling — he’s just tolerated it, realizing they could always repeat the grade they missed if needed. So I’m a bit heartbroken myself and quite exhausted and not at all sure anymore what I “should” do. But whichever way we do school I know I don’t want to fight them — so unproductive and depressing for sure! I’ll be curious to see what happens at your house. Good luck!
Abranda says
Yay!! Now I get to read your posts on homeschooling! I am so selfishly happy. To be quite honest, if I didn’t believe it to be the best way physically, academically, spiritually(if they die loving Jesus, my ultimate longing for them), character wise, and etc…well then I wouldn’t do it. I want to raise them, not the teachers and other kids raising each other. My parents and family concern is their social life and them having social issues…huh? More like negative social issues and life. The bible says something g about kids being left to themselves will come to ruin and another talking about how a child is rising walking and sitting being told of God by the PARENT. These kind of scriptures encourage me on this journey. And it blesses my heart when I see my sons love on old people and have ontentment in their hearts being with adults. God is good and only His standard matters. There is no condemnation in Christ, remember for when you are tempted on feeling this. I will pray for your children. That their hearts will follow yours, and love your plans for them in this, more than the longing to be with their friends. You are awesome and this will be easier than you think. Especially with khansacademy.com!! Oh yeah, life saver for this nonmath freaak. If you school trip over here to st. Louis, we could meet!! 🙂
Erin says
PS. You’ll really start to feel sorry for people who bitch about their children, because you’ll enjoy yours. I love when September roles around…not because I get rid of my kids, but because we have fewer kids knocking on our door.
Erin says
Best thing I ever did was to pull my two younger kids out of school after they’d finished 4th and 1st grades, respectively. (I’d already homeschooled my oldest through Middle School, but he opted to do two years of high school, transfer to the junior college, and finished his 4-year degree at 19.)
Best advice I ever received was to allow one month (at least) for every year that the child had been in traditional school for deschooling and adjustment to take place. Also, don’t live by someone else’s schedule/plan. Just like you trust yourself to know your kids’ nutritional needs, trust yourself to steer them academically. You can do it.
My favorites? Wordly Wise for spelling/vocabulary. Teaching Textbooks for math. IEW for composition. Rosetta Stone for foreign language.
Mindy M says
No one loves your children the way you do. God gave those children to you. He trusted you and fully equipped you and your husband to lead them to Him.
I homeschooled my daughter all the way to college. College was very eager to have her. Homeschool kids usually do very well in college because they have already learned to be independant. (and other reasons) My 4 sons are still on their way.
Let your kids know more of the benefits of homeschooling. We like to go to the beach in September when the crowds have gone back to school. Plan some fun trips. Study some of their specific interests. Do some projects. Get together with some more homeschool families and let the other kids sell it. Being part of a good homeschool group will give encouragement to you and your kids.
I cherish the years of homeschooling. I would never trade the wonderful time I spent (and am spending) with my children. They grow up sooooo fast.
Adrienne @ Whole New Mom says
Finally read this. Guess I’m nuts too. Join the club :-)! I’d love to talk curriculum anytime. I try to avoid homeschool fairs, by the way :-).
karen says
Brilliant!!! As a former educator, who went against the grain, I say….go for it!!
You can’t hurt your kids, you know that….
Hugs.
Karen in CA
Cathy F. says
Trust me, Kelly. You’re probably smarter than at least half the teachers out there indoctrinating public school children. If you can get your kids to sign on, it will probably be one of the best decisions of your life. Maybe it would help to find some local homeschooled families, get the kids together for a pow wow and let them talk to each other. They may need to hear from other kids how it works, how the kids like it, and so on. I wish you the best!
Ron says
“Schools are Prisons”. Watch this 5 minute video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tE6ZONL1guA
Meg Logan says
Awesome! We homeschool too. Regarding God’s will and “smoothing the path”, its been both my experience and understanding from the Scriptures, that a smooth path is an unlikely component in a life following Christ. He says “do not be surprised when trials come your way”. I’m rather surprised at the smooth sailing you had so far. 😉
I agree with your friends who said to give your kids some time. Kids need to warm up to stuff just like adults… we try to make hints, and drop ideas, and go over generalities when we make a big change, long in advance… because it helps kids adjust. (Our big changes have been new babies, and moving.) Talking about it here and there, mentioning cool things you can do as a homeschooler, etc, will bring them round by the end of summer… minus the argument about seeing friends! lol
Congrats. I think you’re heading in the right direction, even if you encounter bumps inthe road, which you inevitably will do. No person who followed Christ in the Bible had smooth sailing, they all suffered to some extent, our hope isn’t in a gentle earthly future, but in ETERNAL GLORY.
God Bless
Sara says
It may depend on the state you are in but here in PA you need a high school diploma or equivalent, a permanent address and a clear background check for yourself and other household members specifically about crimes against minors.
Teena says
Don’t you need a degree or something to home school?
J in VA says
We pulled our dd out of private school after 5th grade. WE LOVE homeschool and would NEVER go back. “School” is done by noon and the afternoon is free for free reading, socializing with friends or whatever else strikes us. We use a variety of programs, depending on the subject.
You’ll love it…it will be an adjustment…but, when the dust settles, you’ll never regret it
Carla says
Hi Kelly – This is the first I have ever seen your blog; a FB friend just popped this article on their status. I am SO glad I was led here to comment to you briefly and give you some encouragement because I saw so much of myself in your article.
I was laughing reading the first few paragraphs because there are a few crazy people out here like us – I work a LOT of hours and I homeschool. YES it can be done. I work at home so I do exactly what you described – school in the morning, work in the afternoon and at night. Go for it; you can do it! Sometimes I am the “atomic stress kitten” but not TOO often. 🙂
Also, a different perspective that you are totally going to understand, I think: it may simply be that you picked the wrong time to tell the kids. 🙂 Remember that the BEST, most FUN time of school is the first couple of days and the last week. If you had told them in the dark days of February when homework was killing them and they were miserable, you may have gotten a very different response than after a week of fun hanging with their friends, very little work and looking forward to summer freedom. They will likely come around (especially with the attitude of “give it a year and we can always go back to school if you want” – exactly what our family did by the way). But whether they come around or not, don’t forget that we are the parents because sometimes you can see something that will be good for them even if they don’t see it. They may thank you later.
We pulled our daughter out last year and just finished our first year at home. WE. LOVE. IT. All the freedom you described is right there. I seriously feel like i broke my daughter out of prison — and she actually didn’t mind school so much before. FREEEEDOM!!!! (cue Braveheart).
You will love it too! And I bet your kids will, once they get used to it. Don’t forget that to them, school is their home; it is all that they know. And you are asking them to jump into a huge unknown. Once you get them some friends who homeschool too (and they discover that they are not weird) they will feel much better. Get in a group; that helped us immensely. Now my daughter has some best friends who are available to hang out at 1 in the afternoon!
Okay, that was my “brief” response!! Wishing you the very best!
KitchenKop says
Very true statement:
“Also, a different perspective that you are totally going to understand, I think: it may simply be that you picked the wrong time to tell the kids. 🙂 Remember that the BEST, most FUN time of school is the first couple of days and the last week. If you had told them in the dark days of February when homework was killing them and they were miserable, you may have gotten a very different response than after a week of fun hanging with their friends, very little work and looking forward to summer freedom.”
YES, I think that was a big part of our problem!!!
Christine Decarolis says
Congratulations on your decision to home school. Should I ever be blessed with a child, I have every intention of home schooling. The stories I hear from my sister-in-laws as they deal with their own kids blows my mind and I have 3 nieces who are beyond gifted and are BORED in school and finding programs for them have been very difficult. Best of luck and trust that everything will work out. The Universe is very generous, you just have to ask and trust.
Heather says
Congratulations!! Our eldest is 5, so we’ve only “homeschooled” preschool, thus far, but homeschooling was a decision I researched and made about 20 years ago, when I was an Elementary Ed major and found out that the books from the public library about homeschooling and alternative schooling (Gatto’s Dumbing Us Down, mentioned above was one of them) made more sense than what they were teaching us in class. I realized I would get into Trouble as a public school teacher, and that my kids would not be in public schools, either.
Relax, don’t overthink the curriculum part (there’s SO much out there nowadays, that’s easy to do). When your kids find out that school, TOTAL, will take about as much out of their day as they are currently spending just on homework, they’ll be on board. Have them try it for a semester, making sure they do get to see their friends and have opportunity to make new ones that also homeschool, so they don’t feel too weird.
Shauna says
Congratulations!!! Not sure where you live but the Homeschool Association of California Conference in Sacramento in August is AWESOME… Ask Cheeseslave. Look up HSC..
I’ve been homeschooling since before my kids were born.. was fortunate to land a job in a homeschooling community..
Anyways, one thing you may consider with your kids is putting the school thing on them.. If you want to go to school you can.. but I won’t fight you about it anymore.. You choose to get up, do your homework, etc… And I won’t allow you to “fail” if you make this choice, you need to remember that
homework and getting up early are part of that bargain…
Children always learn best when they are responsible for their own learning… Many many times this is in a non school situation, but sometimes kids pick school.
Congratulations, though.. you’ve made a courageous choice! Your kids most likely will come around! There are tons and tons of great resources out there! Join a local homeschool park day, you and your kids will love the people.
NeverLookBack says
“If you send your children to school in Rome…
Do not be surprise when they return as Romans !”
-Voddie Baucham.
He is not Catholic, but a fantastic speaker, ardent supported of home school and as a former Catholic (and now Lutheran), there is nothing in his teachings that cause concern. In fact, I applaud his veracity in pursuing biblical teachings.
(a good place to start. He has an excellent series of youtube videos on marriage, biblical manhood, and biblical womanhood.
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=voddie+baucham+marriage )
Karen says
That quote was the deal maker for me! I’d forgotten it. Thanks.
Veronica says
Welcome to the club! (maybe) You will find there are a TON of homeschooling resources (including support groups) out there when you start looking. We started homeschooling 2 yrs ago because budgets got so bad and the schools were cutting all of the great teachers. My daughter was also scared about leaving her friends behind (she attended public school from k-2.) We kept her in brownies at the school. We organized play dates AND I created a homeschool play group to meet new friends. She transitioned well AND now she is the one that says to her little brother, “Hey, this is nothing….if you were in regular school you would have a TON of homework.” (When her little brother complains about doing something he doesn’t want to do.) You can contact me off loop via email if you want to share stories and ask questions.
NeverLookBack says
PS – Resistance to change is normal. The kids will likely be unsure because this is a complete departure from everything they have been told.
Also – your oldest in college may get jealous and since he spent a lifetime (14,000 hours of chair time) in k-12, he will be completely about worldly measurements of success.
Finally – 80% of all Christian raised children leave the church within 2 years of starting college…. and never return. This is the influence of the government and the primary purpose for public education with a secondary emphasis on sitting down and popping rivets happily for 50 years.
Pat says
Best wishes, Kelly!! We’ve been homeschooling for 7 years now. I also pulled three of my children out of school. They were only in the 1st & 2nd grades at the time. We haven’t looked back. My kids have no desire to go back to school. I love that I can give them a solid Catholic education at home. Did you know there is a huge Catholic homeschooling conference in MI (Lansing) this weekend? https://www.rc.net/lansing/mch/
We went years ago. We live in NW Ohio about an hour south of Toledo. I plan to go to the Dayton conference in July. Good luck with your transistion. We use Seton for most subjects. Have fun curriculum shopping! That is my favorite part of homeschooling!!
In Christ,
Pat
Sara says
You’re not crazy. I am a SINGLE mom who pulled a child out if school to homeschool. We homeschooled for 2 yrs before switching to cyber school, just because I needed to go back to work. It’s an acceptible compromise but I dearly miss the freedom of homeschool. Impromptu field trips, exploring, home experiments…it was fun! I was going back to school to get my teaching certificate while working as a TA in public school when I decided it just wasn’t working. My son had some great teachers in school but he needed a less stressful, less-stimulating environment. You will not regret it and it sounds like you had some great support. I came up against a lot of criticism. Btw…Math-u-See is a fantastic math program!
NeverLookBack says
BTW – be sure to check state regulations – some states are real pricks about homeschooling… especially, the further toward the coasts you go.
Kansas, Oklahoma, and Texas are pretty easy to work with. South Dakota, Missouri and Vermont (ironically, home of the twisted freedom conundrum movement) are much more stringent.
lara says
Not sure how Missouri got on your list of states with more stringent regulation. We have no testing requirements, no annual reporting of any kind and no restrictions on curriculum. It is generally considered to be a very homeschool friendly state and I have never ecountered any problems. BUT, Great advice on looking into state requirements. I’m so used to not giving that a thought that it didn’t occcur to me to offer it as advice and it is an important one!
NeverLookBack says
hmmm – I’ll have to look at it again. We are looking for a place to home stead and Missouri got moved down a few notches (but still no where near the regulations of the up tight East coast…. gesshh!)
Thanks for the info.
Becki says
Missouri?? Not sure why we are on your list! It is one of the easiest states to home school in. There are hour requirements and you keep a log book but we don’t test or report to anyone. 🙂
Sheri says
Congratulations!! May the peace you found with your homeschooling decision abound and embrace your whole family.
We home schooled for 9 wonderful years! I highly recommend Donna Young’s Homeschool site for practical support in planning, organizing, and implementation.
NeverLookBack says
CONGRATULATIONS – and don’t let anyone make you second guess yourself!
We home schooled our oldest daughter for a bit about 15 years ago and then she went back to parochial school for the “socialization”. Now, we are home schooling our other 3 three kids (10, 14, 17) and have been for the last 4 years or so. I so wish that we had continued with our oldest as I think many of her high school drama issues could have been avoided.
Now, our oldest is married to a husband that also home schooled and she is pretty committed to the process. Additionally, we discovered the idea of “Unschooling”. (here’s a bit of info https://sandradodd.com/unschooling)
No, this is not going without education. It is about giving learning through living and experiences. You don’t have fixed classes unless there is something that the kids want to do. Yes, they learn to read just fine. No, they don’t suffer from lack of socialization with a bunch of unruly and delinquent peers.
My son went started unschooling at 13 in 7th grade. He played a lot of video games for a few months, but eventually, they got old and he began READING books on his own and studying math texts and now is a dedicated bible reader that makes the rest of us look bad. Last fall, he took the GED test while he was 16 and passed with a 90+ percentile.
My second daughter who is currently 14, saw this and now she diligently works on her own because she wants to beat his score and do it younger. In the end, we probably won’t let her do this younger because it is difficult to do much as a high school grad at 16…. Although – there are many colleges that will gladly help you out.
Sports and competitive sports are available through city rec programs and I’m a firm believer that the world places WAY too much emphasis on sports. Time and money that could be well used elsewhere. I don’t dislike sports, but many schools treat is as an income stream and spend all of their time and resources on it. It’s BS and stressful. Something that the kids really don’t need added to their already fast paced lives.
The point is – since you work at home, you should involve your children. You will get to spend much more quality time with them and after a while, you will find them exploring their natural curiosity. This is a natural desire to learn to exceed in order to please their parents that school and peers crush out of them. Just give them time and opportunity and they will grow. (Don’t worry – if they have been schooled – it may take some time for them to adjust… sometime months).
This may not be for you – but I would encourage you to look at it. It was a fantastic discovery and stress reliever for our family and I am very proud of my wife and children… in fact, I’m rather jealous and long to find a way to work from home in order to spend more time like my wife gets with the kids.
Good Luck on your decision and use the internet – it is FULL of resources.
Example:
California Open Source Text book initiative (FREE high school texts)
The Unschoolers Waterpark Gathering (Awesome fun, very educational, you can see the results and have a very reasonably priced family vacation at the same time. https://www.unschoolerswaterparkgathering.com/ .)
I’ll following this thread – just post or email me if you have ANY questions. We have TONS of resources and would love to help.
Betheney says
Welcome to homeschooling! Life will be different, but life will be better 🙂
Shalonne says
Good luck, Kelly! Hope your kids come around. I recommend getting involved with the homeschool groups now and try to get together with them as much as possible over the summer. That way, your kids can make new friends and learn about how awesome homeschooling is from the other kids. It may help a lot.
Btw – I also work full time from home so I get your concerns. We’re planning to homeschool year round to make the time issue a bit less of a concern. Also, I don’t have a chance right now to read your other curriculum post questions, but I recommend checking into unschooling. It’s another big decision to go that route, and I’m not even certain we’ll do it here, but it seems really cool and a great way for the kids to learn.
Good luck!
tina says
I really think this may be something I do in the future. I’m inspired by many homeschoolers. I know my young son learns more from me than in school. That I’m an atheist presents the issue of socialization since most homeschoolers in my area are devout christians. If there were a way to incorporate homeschooling with public school for the socialization I may definitely teach my own children (or at least my younger son.) Congratulations on your decision; I wish the best for you!
Kristi says
I was wondering how the kids would take the news. LOL I’m starting homeschooling my son in the fall for the first time. I was a public school teacher who hated teaching to the tests. I don’t know why I ever thought it would be good for my son. Live and learn. I haven’t taught my daughter was born 2 years ago. My son just finished first grade. He hated being made to sit for 7 hours with little recess and p.e. only twice a week then with all the homework in the evenings. He struggled. I struggled. It was not a good experience. And it was only FIRST GRADE!!! I mentioned homeschooling a few months ago and he was hesitant at first but is so excited now. I’m excited, too. Most friends are supportive of my decision but I had one friend try to talk me out of it. My husband took a little convincing, but he’s on board now.
Good luck with whatever ends up happening! Your family will be in my prayers. Keep us all updated!
Kate @ Modern Alternative Mama says
I think homeschooling is great, especially for “alternative” families. Now you don’t have to worry about what to pack in lunches, what they’re swapping with their friends, and so on. There will still be those issues at groups, I’m sure, but at least not day in, day out. You have much more control over what your children are exposed to (outside of food, too) and that is so important.
I don’t agree on the coddling children bit. At least I don’t think that is the root of the problem. I’ve thought about this a LOT over the last several months because more and more people are starting to say it, and blame all the country’s problems on it. They even like to lump in those AP-positive-discipline-feelings-oriented parents into the problem (because they don’t understand what ‘AP’ really is about, and the media’s not helping).
No…I think the problem is that the PARENTS are selfish and immature. They want what they want when they want it, and they feel entitled to have it because they are adults. They force kids to do what they want because “I’m the parent and what I said goes.” I don’t think most have the ability to reason at a higher level (I blame the schools for that, mostly) so they just can’t see beyond this. But I KNOW that when my kids are having a problem that it’s either health-related (like my son not sleeping recently, he just needed a chiropractic adjustment and now he’s fine again) or it’s MY fault because I’ve been angry, selfish, or unfair. I’m not perfect. And sometimes I take my frustration (verbally) out on the children. Sometimes I refuse to take them to the playground when they are wild because I’m mad that they are wild, even though that just shoots us all in the foot, so to speak.
I think parents are largely out of touch with what kids need. Some are coddling, some are too hard, but many are simply not meeting their kids’ needs. They don’t seem to “see” the needs. For example, when I was struggling to figure out why my son wouldn’t sleep (two nights, he literally called me every 15 minutes, I was a ZOMBIE…he is almost 3! Not a baby), my friends said “Tough love. He’s gotta learn that night time is for sleeping.” That didn’t jive…. I took him to the chiropractor, who said “Wow, his back is really out…that would totally cause sleep issues and also bladder control issues.” (He had starting having accidents too.) After his adjustment, we snuggled him, offered him some tea, and put him to bed — he slept all night. He was in pain! But he never complained of pain nor acted like he was hurting. It was my mommy instincts that said, “This is not right.” So I was able to SOLVE his problem and MEET his needs, and then he went back to sleeping. It was not a discipline issue. And I think a lot of parents are disconnected and make mistakes like this…thinking it’s “discipline” or “behavior” when there is something more going on.
That’s a HUGE tangent but it’s an issue I’m really passionate about. How badly would I have felt if my son only started sleeping out of sheer exhaustion and it took days or weeks to discover he was in pain? At not quite 3 he can’t articulate this to me very well. If I hadn’t been focused on finding a solution…he could have continued suffering. I could have compounded that by ignoring his cries because “it’s just bad behavior.” The idea of allowing my son to remain in pain unknowingly is awful. 🙁
Anyway, we homeschool too. My oldest is 4.5 and starting kindergarten this year — mostly because she’s so eager and her skills are at the right point. She’s thrilled with the idea and wants nothing to do with “going to school” at this time. (My almost 3-year-old is another story but everyone’s his best friend!) I’ve been using http://www.kidzone.ws for a lot of their worksheets, and we have various flashcards, and we do a lot of hands-on activities. We have great children’s museums and programs around here — I think you do too. It’s great because my oldest can’t sit still for anything, yet she really wants to learn to read. I’m trying to come up with an activity where we can work on her letter sounds/sounding out words while she is able to jump/run/move. I think it will help her focus. But that’s the beauty of homeschooling! Freedom to find what works for YOU.
msmckibbon says
Hi there, I wish you the best of luck! I’m not sure if someone has already mentioned this but Penelope Trunk has a blog about her homeschooling efforts…here’s the link: https://homeschooling.penelopetrunk.com/
Our Small Hours says
Hang in there, mama. My oldest was young when we began home schooling but had gone through kindy and 1st in the public school system and had done great. We even sent my youngest to public kindy last year and although he loved it, he wants to home school now.
Take it year by year, child by child. Home school those who are interested and let the others come when they are ready. Each year my guys have the option of home school or public school. Only my middle son has never been to public school and once my oldest son chose to home school, he never looked back.
If home school is in the greater purpose for their lives, they will come around to it.
Christine says
You give me some hope. I’ve homeschooled our 3 girls from the beginning, and I love doing it. My oldest social butterfly, however, is determined to go to public school with her friends from dance next year. She’d be going into 6th grade next year, and I feel like she is at an age where she should have some say in her education. It’s hard to help someone learn, if they’re not motivated. There is no academic reason for her desire to go to public school, it is purely social. She absolutely loves to be around lots of people as much as possible, and always has. She is also easily distracted, so I’m not sure how well she’ll do academically in the large class environment. My other two still want to homeschool; so I’ve been telling her that homeschooling will still be available, if public school doesn’t work out for her. Still, I can’t help but feel sad.
KitchenKop says
Many say that the kids just need to fall in line with the parent’s decision, and I get that to a point since we are the parents and all, but geesh, how horrible to go through that big fight when maybe if you let her try public school for a year, she’ll welcome coming back to homeschooling since you didn’t shove it down her throat…
Just thinking out loud.
Kelly
Whittney says
Good for you! And I do hope that God works on your kids’ hearts too….hang in there!
Amanda Y. says
This may or may not be relevant in your state/district, but we homeschooled for a time when I was a child and my parents were allowed to check out the same books and curriculum from the local school district that we’d use if we were in school, so it can be free for the curriculum possibly! And you can always then supplement in this day & age with free internet add ons
Jen Mc says
Awesome!
My parents started homeschooling when I was 8th gr and it was THE BEST decision they ever made. Seriously.
I am now homeschooling mine, didn’t really consider any other option as we were both convinced this was the best option for our children.
I think including your older ones in some of the planning and picking will help light a fire of excitement for them. Also, get to know some other homeschoolers with kids their age, it will help for them to realize they aren’t alone 😉
God bless you!
Lori says
Good for you! You will lov the freedom it brings to your home, and your kid will grow to love the freedom they have to explore all the things that interest them.
I homeschooled 4 of my 8 children (took me that long to wear my husband down to finally agree to it!), and all 4 of those kids (now grown) have come back to me and thanked me for homeschooling them and for giving them all the freedoms I gave them, both academically and just to be kids.
All of my kids are successful in their own right~this includes the public-schooled kids, but the homeschooled kids are more independent and have better reasoning and critical thinking skills. I’ve heard this from many, many people.
We never bought a curriculum as I made it up as we went as I covered the things I felt were important and then left the kids to learn what interested them. Sometimes it meant they learned by becoming fascinated with movies (The Lord of the Rings), or places (like New Zealand).
Public school can have its place, but compulsory school does not belong in a free society based upon a free republic. All options and forms of education need to be available for everyone in order for everyone to reach their full potential.
Good luck! I look forward to hearing about how much your family loves this new journey! Though it may take awhile for the older ones to realize the grand and wonderful opportunity you are giving them. God bless.
Ron says
Good for you! I call the public school system, “The Public Fool System” because it teaches the kids how not to think for themselves but to be good little “subjects”. I realize that some public schools are far better (or less bad) than others, but they ALL ARE RUN BY THE GOVERNMENT – you know the same government that wants us to eat processed food and take drugs and keep us too dumb to realize what they are doing to us.
Also about college watch the video “College Conspiracy” at
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A75KERKwEQM
You said “I’ve never been “teacher” material!”. You demonstrate daily your ability to teach. I think you made a very good decision.
Denise says
This is a decision you and your husband need to make – NOT your children. For all the reasons you listed. They do not have the wisdom and maturity.
Becki says
Bless you in your journey! You are right…it isn’t always snuggles and walks in the woods but it is SO REWARDING! You get to raise your kids instead of someone else! Enjoy the process! If God spoke to you He will also change your kid’s hearts, in His time. Hugs!
RocketSurgeon says
Pray, pray, pray, pray, pray, pray, pray, pray, pray.
Some say that St. Thomas More could be called the patron saint of homeschoolers. He made his family the chief priority in choosing where to live and moved his family (including his grown children and grandchildren) to a thirty-two acre farm on the north bank of the Thames River, believing that the English countryside was a much more wholesome environment in which to raise a family. He also was martyred by refusing to swear all allegiance to King Henry VIII and his heirs over “any foreign prince or potentate” – meaning the Papacy. More was content in being a subject of the king and servant of the Lord but the king wanted everything; an ironic commentary on today’s situation, so deciding to homeschool could be an emulation of St. Thomas More in choosing faith over state in the education of your kids.
So perhaps prayers for intercession by you and your husband can and will give you the indications you need to take the right next steps. Best of luck, and you know He will never take you where you aren’t meant to be!
Laura says
Hello Kelly,
We ended up homeschooling out of necessity and now, although we re-evaluate every year, we would not change it. It will be a major change for everyone and and even bigger learning curve. If you can remember the first year of marriage, you’ll have a good idea what the first year of homeschool looks like. 🙂 Some advice: Read “A Thomas Jefferson Education: Teaching A Generation of Leaders for the 21st Century” and just sit with it. If you want help distilling some info on where to start with curriculums and such and, even better, some ways to evaluate the MOUNTAINS of info and systems, email me privately. Absolutely good luck and best wishes on your new frontier!
leigh says
Congratulations! God Bless You! I’m praying for the same sort of break for our little family.
Stanley Fishman says
Way to go, Kelly! You are doing a wonderful thing for your family.
I am not surprised that two of your kids object. Kids often do not like change, especially if they are used to school. I would suggest talking to them, little by little, about the fact that they will have much more time to do the things they enjoy,and I would name those things. Not only will they be able to see their school friends after school, but your local homeschooling support group may have a large number of fun activities that they may not even have thought of. And they will meet new friends.
As part of the homeschool experience, you can do all kinds of things that are much more interesting than sitting in a classroom, yet will contribute to their education. Home schooling can be a great adventure, for everyone in the family.
Erin says
We pulled our children out of public school a few years ago…and my husband teaches there! The first year was difficult. On our first day of official homeschool, my then 2nd grade son laid his head on the table and cried saying,”I can only do my work if it is totally quiet and everyone in the room is doing the same thing at the same time.” Hmmm…institutionalized at a very early age! I took the opportunity to explain that real life is not like that at all.
Now they would never go back to public school. My younger girls think school would be a fun time with friends, so they ask about it once in awhile. I think that is just because we are so connected to the school and do Comm Ed activities because my husband works there.
As someone told me, the first year is hell, second year is OK, and each year after is bliss. You’ll love it!
Maggie says
I have never homeschooled, but the option has always been in the back of my mind as a possibility every since my oldest was diagnosed as ADHD at the age of 4. He’s been lucky enough to have helpful, understanding teachers at his parochial school and he will be a HS. Senior next year. My younger son was yanked out of the parochial school in 4th grade and is now much happier in the public school. His issue are due to his own behavior and I have been happy with the actions of the school teachers and administrators, But i would home school him if his problems get worse, but we are hoping that it is caused by SAD (Winter depression) and will be conducting light therapy before school, in the Fall
Good luck.
3kidswild says
We just finished up our first year of homeschooling our oldest. This was something I had prayed for guidance on for over a year before we started. I finally accepted when the time is right, it will happen. My oldest son has Asperger’s and we pulled him out at the start of 8th grade after my husband witnessed the stress & anxiety my son was having over starting school again over Labor Day weekend. Hubby typically worked the holiday weekend, so when he saw how bad it was vs. hearing me talk about it, the time became right. It’s was a great journey this year discovering what worked & clicked (visual learner), what didn’t (reading from textbooks), and his rapid progress. Our goal for this year was to get him to be relaxed & enjoy learning. Next year’s goal is to learn to trust other kids/peers (it’s hard to be different in middle school). He’s done fantastic. He got A’s & B’s and had a customized teaching style that allowed him to do well & gain confidence. We’re committed to doing this all the way to graduation. And he never wants to go back. By the way, I work from home full time…It’s been hectic & crazy as I have other children still in public school but honestly the amount of prep time I’ve done for homeschooling is about equal to the time spent on helping with homework, following up on missing assignments, and going into school to chat with the teachers. However, the time spent on prep work or the agenda is more rewarding than the dreaded call to the teacher having to find out why the homework we spent an hour on was not turned in. Also, another added bonus is our family life is so much less stressful. No more Sunday night anxiety attacks, struggles to wake him up in the morning, stressful nights of homework, and my worry about him dealing with school. So follow your heart & try. The worst you can do is not do it and always wonder what if…
My Boys' Teacher says
Welcome to the club Kelly 🙂
Your family is really going to enjoy the free time this will leave you to just be yourselves. So worth it.
Kristi says
First of all, you’re not crazy 🙂 Just “not normal” – ha! Normal is highly overrated, by the way.
Secondly, give the kids time. They will come around. Especially when they truly experience the benefits. I think if you approach it as an experiment – that you’re going to try this for a year, it will probably ease their fears some.
If you believe that God has called you to this – and it sounds like He has, at least for this season – then it really doesn’t matter if the kids are on board at this point. They will come around.
I’m excited for you guys! We will be starting our 9th year of homeschooling this fall. I will have a junior, freshman, 7th grader and 1st grader.
Linda says
I get where your kids are coming from. When I decided to homeschool my son way back when, he was NOT thrilled! I pulled him out of school right after 6th grade. The reason was he wanted to be with his friends at school. I will admit it was very hard to start homeschooling after all those years of school. Even now when I think of the mistakes I made, I remember how it was in school. I know school was failing him and I don’t believe he would have been better off staying in school.
Maybe your kids are afraid of something so new and don’t want to leave their friends, but they can still see them outside of school, right? I would suggest you find a homeschool group and join in one of their activities so your kids can see what it’s like. I had a hard time finding a group when we lived in Ohio, but when we came to Virginia I got right into a really good very social homeschool group so my son got to do fun things with all those kids and make some friends.
Maryjane says
Kelly, your post made me cry!! I remember reading a few months ago how you insisted that you couldn’t homeschool, and I began to pray that God would show you that you could — and He did! I homeschooled my three children, beginning when my oldest was going into 7th grade, and it was THE BEST decision we ever made. They are all graduated now; two have graduated college, one is still in college; my son is in his second year of law school at Boston College.
One thing for you to think about: I always told my kids, if they ever longed to return to school — “God told me to homeschool you, and you will be homeschooled until He tells me otherwise.” It kind of takes the “blame” away from you and gives it to God — and He can handle it!
There will be days when you ask, “Where can I go to resign from being a mother?” But parenting is never easy, homeschooling or not. I will pray for continued blessing and guidance for you and your family.
KitchenKop says
Wow, you are the 2nd person who has told me they were praying I would be led to homeschool. Thank you!!!!!!!!
Kel
Maria says
You’ll never regret homeschooling (except for those occasional days that you’ll wonder “what was I thinking?????”). Life goes by so quickly, and you’ll be grateful for the extra time with your children. It won’t happen overnight, but your children will be better friends with each other and your whole family will be closer. Another good read is Catholic Home Schooling by Mary Kay Clark, director of Seton Home Study School. A “packaged” curriculum is a great place to start. Later you can pick and choose books as you find what works and doesn’t work for each child. It really helps to be organized and have a set place for school supplies. Good Luck!
Lort says
I don’t have kids, but if I did, I would homeschool them. I have many friends who do and their kids are all wonderful and socialized! The shy ones would still be shy in public school.
Have you thought about letting them talk to other homeschoolers who like it? Maybe that would help them understand how this could be beneficial…and time as others have suggested.
Leanne says
I applaud you for taking on this challenge. It is a rewarding one. I hope your children come around. For me it has been a blessing from God to spend so much quality time getting to know my kids. I also believe, that God calls parents to raise up and educate their children, so for us there was no other option.
I have 4 children ages 7, 12, 16, &18 whom I have home schooled the whole way. My oldest graduated last year (a year early). He did not go to college, but instead is working on building a business. I have not worried much about college because a degree is not what it used to be. Here is an article that sums it up.
https://endoftheamericandream.com/archives/35-shocking-facts-that-prove-that-college-education-has-become-a-giant-money-making-scam
I have been complimented by many people over the years on how wonderful, kind, well behaved my kids are and I attribute it all to homeschooling and the consistent involvement of my husband and myself.
My children are very socially adept individuals, and because of a larger percentage of time with adults, they are more mature than their public school counter parts (on average anyway). As long as parents allow kids to do activities out side of the home, the whole social thing is a non-issue. Also, because of my close involvement and them being away from public schools, they have not learned the bad behaviors often prevalent in public schools or had to endure being on the receiving end of those behaviors. This has given them more self-confidence since no one is tearing them down.
KitchenKop says
Wow, all of these comments are awesome, I’m devouring them as they come in! (Thank you all so much!)
Just had to say, I have to run out the door and will read that article later, but I already agree with it just from reading the title in the link!
NeverLookBack says
Don’t stress over college – It is NO PROBLEM getting in to colleges as a home school grad and colleges love them because they tend to be stable and very studious examples.
Also, College is like hub caps on a car. Sure, they look pretty, but ultimately, the performance of the car is how it is built and cared for… not how shiny it is. Generally, home schooled kids will be more creative and operate their own businesses instead of joining the crowds of “Me Too” college grads trying to pay their loans.
You will learn as much or more than the kids. Just sit back and enjoy the ride and create life long bonds with your family that most others sacrifice at the alter of prosperity.
[email protected] says
I love your comments, NeverLookBack. Totally agree. College is so not necessary for success these days – we too are enouraging our children in entrepreneurial endeavors, which is so much more satisfying, stable, AND they can begin NOW (two of our young children will be opening an etsy shop soon). College is overrated and overpriced, and I am glad this opinion is becoming more and more prominent. It is not for everyone and not a necessity, in our opinions. And I agree that the atmosphere can undermine the morality you are trying to instill. And BTW my husband and I are both college grads. Neither of us are “using” our degrees. We also believe that college is not worth going in debt for, so unless you can pay it in cash along the way (like we did with my husband – mine was paid for), then take a different road. 🙂
Nickole
[email protected] says
I am so so happy for you Kelly. What a wonderful post. I could quote so many things you said that I agree with, that are just great quotes. We have homeschooled our children from the getgo, so I don’t have experience with any transition, but we know a lot of children who were homeschooled and sent back into school and they long to be homeschooled again. It is like night and day. What I tell people is that homeschool is not (or should not be) “school at home.” Homeschool should be a place that fosters a self education environment. Children are not stressed about homework and “learning” just for the sake of filling in the right answers on a test. At home, children have the time to delve deep into things they are intersted in. They learn to love reading and finding out answers to their questions, and exploring the world. We read long and interesting biographies of Newton, Roosevelt, Galileo, Adams, Octavius, you name it. Instead of just memorizing dates and one or two things these people did, we feel like in the end we “know” these people. We LOVE these people. We do a lot of reading aloud and narrating and discussing. Tests are not needed and they are just boring busywork that wastes time. We want to keep that spark alive. Check out the Charlotte Mason method of learning. It is different even than many homeschool curriculum even. We use amblesideonline.org for our reading lists. You want “living” books, books that are not boring and stale, but interesting, and delve into the character of historical figures, or the wonders of the deep ocean, or the fascination of Arcimedes and how he came about his scientific discoveries. Take time to read these kinds of wonderful books. Also your kids will be living in the real world, which for children it is not sitting at a desk all day. They will be allowed to be active, to participate in the family, chores, learn to have more responsibility, and the comraderie between your children will grow. Siblings will be able to be together, which should be the norm. I have heard people say their kids would fight if they were together that much. That is b/c they have been apart for so long. Children together have the opportunity to become the best of friends. Even siblings. Also, you are with them in order to foster their character. You cannot do that when they are not with you half the day. For us, that was the number one reason we decided to homeschool. We feel it is our responsibility to raise them up, 100%. Getting a fantastic education was a bonus. We have so many friends here that homeschool, so seek them out where you live as well. You can join coops, but if it gets too busy and stressful, then don’t feel like they “need” that. I know with us, that was just too much. Luckily we homeschoolers have the freedom to decide exactly how we want to educate our children. Praise God for that! Congrats on your discovery!
Nickole
Nancy says
I have home schooled my children for 11 years now. It all started when my oldest completed 2nd grade; my second was to start kindergarten in the fall. I had read scripture about it being the parents job to train their children and I knew it was wrong for them to be gone from us most of the day but I just kept living life the way we knew it. A neighbor of mine home schooled and that was not for me. A comment from a preschool teacher finally shook me…she said of my son who liked to finish a project when he started and didn’t like to move on to the next project until then…”I hope the schools don’t squelch his creativity.” What? They could do that. I went thru a process similar to yours and then in the end decided that if my husband agreed I would home school. He didn’t. He thought I was nuts. I was relieved; I was off the hook. But God wouldn’t let me be content with that. So for the next month I prayed and prayed that if we were to do this that God would give my husband a peace about it. Over a month later I asked my husband a second time and the conversation was very different. He started asking me questions and by the end of our conversation he agreed that we should home school! I was happy and scared all at the same time. I asked him later that night what changed his mind. He send he really didn’t know but that he had a peace about it. That was my confirmation from God and it didn’t matter what happened I knew He was going to bless this.
I too thought my kids would be thrilled when we gave them the exciting news. My son was fine with it; no big deal. My oldest who is a girl and is very social and popular with her friends did NOT want to be home schooled. I did my best to convince her but the friend thing was huge. I never once gave her the option of thinking she was going to go back to school; I kept talking about how great it was going to be and stayed positive. The first year was the worst. All I heard was, “I miss my friends and my teacher doesn’t do it this way.” I prayed a lot and trusted God completely for the outcome. God is faithful. My daughter graduated over a year ago from our home school. She has become a beautiful young lady who was and is a great learner (Side note: I’ve noticed that home schooling instills a love to learn for life…school usually makes you sick of learning and you can’t wait to be done with it.) I thank God everyday that we made the decision to train our kids at home without the “help” of other kids and other adults who are training and influencing them contrary to what we believe. I told God and my husband that I would never once threaten to send my kids back to school. I never have. If you have a bad day switch gears and pick up where you left off the next day.
I normally don’t comment. But after reading your story I felt that I must do this to encourage you.
You can do this Kelly! After all would you give your kids a choice to eat at home or McDonalds because their friends were eating there? Ask God for wisdom; He will give it to you!
KitchenKop says
“I told God and my husband that I would never once threaten to send my kids back to school. I never have. If you have a bad day switch gears and pick up where you left off the next day.”
You’re right, I need to get that threat right out of my head, don’t I? Especially since I don’t ever want to go backward…
About the fast food comment – GREAT point!
Carrie says
So Kelly, I found b/c of the healthy life summit and I came to your website to find some great info. I saw our homeschool tab and read this first blog. Thank you!!!
Nancy (Kelly too), you have described almost to a point what I have begun to experience. My story starts like this. One week ago some friends were holding a baby shower for me and my third child (but 1st daughter). One of my friends there has been a homeschooler from the start and I don’t know why, but I asked her a question about it (since her children were there too). Later that afternoon or evening I couldn’t get the thought out of my head that I should homeschool. I still think about it often.
My first is in gr2 at the moment and although he is a clever and social boy, he struggles to focus and keep up with the class to the point the teachers and I have tossed the idea around of “modifying” his workload. This means he will have to do less than the rest of the class. I’m not fond of this plan since I know he’s capable but needs more time. The part that scares me though is that I am not a teacher or have never even thought of being one, let alone a homeschooler. My second child is set to go to kindergarten in the fall but I think that I should give him the opportunity to ‘try’ school out to see if he does any better in that environment than my first is doing. My third is now 3 months old and I wonder how that will play a part in MY focusing to teach from home. We struggle with homework constantly! With me or my husband trying to motivate him or him actually doing it. Sometimes it takes up the remainder of the day and continues in the morning to get complete. Often it’s only 2 or 3 pages but has been as high as 5 if he hasn’t done anything in class. Even one single page turns into a all nighter. 🙁 This stresses everyone out and robs us of very valuable family time in the evenings and on the weekends because he/we are bound to the kitchen table to get it all done. With my adrenals fatigued already,I wonder if i will have the resolve to follow through with it if its what I am meant to do. God will have to take the lead on this that’s for sure. “the way they learn” by Cynthia Tobias was pivotal for me in knowing that he has a unique learning style, but for the life of me, I can’t figure it out! AGH!
He has great leadership potential and I have the fear that if left up to me to educate him, I might do something wrong and stifle those qualities in him. I am on the other hand hopefull that our relationship could grow and become stronger. Oh, the fear of the unknown!
Its easy to share the good things, but If either of you could share some of the struggles you faced in the beginning, I would be very grateful. A weird as may seem, it might give me hope.
Thanks, Carrie.
KitchenKop says
Carrie,
Oh girl, I sooo remember feeling just like this!
It’s been a while since I’ve written a homeschooling update, so I think I’ll do that real soon and address your questions above. Watch for that! 🙂
Kel
Carrie says
Awesome! Thanks.
KitchenKop says
I’m working on this post now and if all goes well, watch for it to be up tomorrow!! (If not, then this week for sure.)
Kelly
Diane says
I think if I had kids I’d home school them now. Our boys did well despite the public schools, but we did teach them a lot at home.
If you LOVE the elementary school, why not leave the little one there and home school the others? Why all or none? Ironic that the little one is the one who is willing to be home schooled.
jessie says
We made the same difficult decision for our daughter after a disappointing kindergarten year in public school. As in your case, I was nervous to tell our teacher friends and relatives, but surprisingly they were some of the most understanding. Points to a larger issue, wouldn’t you say? I have tremendous peace with our decision and am looking forward to next year, although anxious for what it might bring. Good luck to you and your family!
Lara says
Welcome to the crazy homeschooling life! My oldest was in 6th grade when we took the plunge and my youngest immediately announced that he wasn’t going to but he came around quickly and now has zero interest in going back. Oh, and my oldest just finished her first year of college so it really does work out. I’m heading over to your questions page.
Lenetta says
“could we…?” absolutely! I’m looking forward to hearing more about your journey, Kel. I’m sorry you didn’t get the reaction you wanted, and i’d have cried, too. I’d tell your kids the same thing as you did your hubs, just try it for a year. (actually, you could punt and put them back in at semester, too.) unlike the system, homeschooling isn’t one size fits all, so the beauty is in the flexibility! I have resigned to sending the 5yo to kindergarten in the fall, with baby #2 coming in oct and not knowing if my adrenals will bomb again. I still have the dream if pulling her out once things are settled though! 🙂 best of luck – xoxo
Jill says
Homeschool rocks! I am looking at my LAST year of homeschooling starting in the fall. My daughter (who we homeschooled from 3rd grade on) is beginning her 2nd year at Baylor (Dean’s list both semesters last year and honors college student), and my son (who we homeschooled from 1st grade on) will be a senior this year. There have been times when one or both of them have begged to go to “regular” school, but in the end are both so glad we homeschooled! My daughter feels she was much better prepared for college than most of the other students in her classes and is much more self-reliant, whereas many other students are used to being spoonfed, if that makes sense. My son has recently observed some of the “socialization” results of public school in his (very large) youth group, and is so glad he’s been homeschooled. They are both great at relating to people of all ages, both younger and much older than themselves, and are able to carry on intelligent conversations about a wide variety of subjects. Also, the relationship that I have with them both has been so special and I believe much closer than it would have been had we gone a different route. It’s been a journey that we’ve walked together that has been incredibly enriching for us, even with the “bad days”.
P.S. Along the lines of “socialization”…isn’t that what kids in public school get in TROUBLE for? 🙂 I know that’s what was usually behind my stays in detention after school–too dang much socializing! Besides, when else in life is it considered normal to be surrounded by and almost exclusively relate to people only our own age and your own developmental level? Normal life is lived within the context of family and community–exactly the setting for homeschool.
FarmgirlCyn (Cindy) says
Kelly, I would like to suggest two books that I am sure will be of some help to you, though you obviously do not need to be convinced about homeschooling. The first is a book by John Taylor Gatto, “Dumbing Us Down”…It is the book I recommend to every one and any one who is even remotely considering the homeschooling path. Gatto was New York city’s teacher of the year, then later, New York state teacher of the year. His book is eye opening, to say the least. And everyone I have lent it to has homeschooled with no turning back.(including my chiropractor!)
The second book is “The Socialization Trap”, by Rick Boyer. Basically a book about the “socialization” aspect of homeschooling versus traditional school. This one might not be available thru the library, but Gatto’s surely is.
Elizabeth says
HOORAY~
You and your kids will love homeschooling! It gives you so much more freedom, encourages close relationships between you and the children and between siblings, prepares them for Real Life, etc!! Give your kids time — they will become excited! If not, tell them to just give it a try for one year . . .
A Big plus — you don’t have to worry about school lunches anymore! 🙂
Soli says
Much luck to you as this goes forth!
Homemaker says
We are homeschoolers as well and I am so glad we are! We really Like the freedom it gives us in so many ways.
I think the kids will come around when they see all the opportunity and this is my opinion, but if you really feel called then the kids should not have the option of staying in public school. Don’t try to do every single subject at first, ease into it. Let us know how it goes!
Musings of a Housewife says
I’m really interested to see how this works out!!! I have two kids who do fine in the school system and one who struggles. I have often wondered if homeschooling would be better for her, but she isn’t very receptive to it. I hope your kids come around, I’d love to hear how it goes for you.
Pat says
Be patient. It took you and Kent several weeks to believe homeschooling was the best way to go. The kids need that same time to process the idea. You are on the right track. I wish you the best of luck and hope you continue to share your homeschooling experience.
Cathy says
so excited for you!!! You can do this!!! With God, NOTHING is impossible!
Shannon S says
YES, Im so excited for you!!!! Weve homeschooled for 12 years. Remember the picture tutorial my daughter Rachael and I did for your blog? She had lots of free time after bookwork and she learned to can, bake, cook, sew….Shes all grown up now, but she has a thirts for learning, right now she had our alpacas sheared and she is spinning yarn. Our other kids try LOTS of things since they have time, yours will too. I have wondered about nourishing our kids bodies with real food, then sending them off to school where often their brains are “fed” junk (peer pressure, violence etc) And if anyone asks you the big S question, just tell them your kids will be socialized just by being around other human beings. They dont need to be the same age to learn socialization.
IC says
The big S question always bugs me. We should be asking “what about academics” when it comes to education. This question drives me nuts! If school is supposed to prepare kids for college and a job, then why don’t we rate colleges and careers based on opportunities to socialize?
I think that when kids can’t handle it when it gets tough, it is because they are socialized mostly by their peers, who have no experience dealing with complex problems themselves.
And as a side, you’ll probably have the problem of too much socialization! Yikes, it gets busy!
Dan says
Brava to you! We pulled our kids out of the system several years ago. Yes, they missed their friends (for a while), and yes they missed the activities related to school, but now they tell us that they would never go back. We can travel when we want (except now we have milk goats…), they are usually done with school by noon, they get days off whenever Mom isn’t in the mood to teach, and they get to explore subjects of their interest in addition to a very basic, standard curriculum. God bless you for doing this, and may you be strengthened and encouraged!
Denise @ Creative Kitchen says
Kelly,
Wow!! How exciting!!! We’ve only ever homeschooled our 3 girls who are now ages 13, 9 and 4. I used to teach in public school but resigned after my oldest was 3 years old, and came home in time to have baby #2 (that was 10 years ago this month!!) It’s been a wild ride, but wouldn’t change it for anything.
We LOVE homeschooling, and have great friends and a huge homeschool group in the area. The kids definitely don’t lack socialization skills. LOL!
I’m sure your kids will come around…they just need time to get used to the idea. 😉