It's been a while since I've shared a homeschool update with you, and usually those seem to come along when I also need your advice on something…
I read this blog by Tonya, a Mom who recently began homeschooling, and in a post this week with homeschool tips, she said: “This is by far the best decision we have made for our family, and we are enjoying our lives so much more now without the hustle and bustle of school meetings, answering to the clock as we come and go, or the dreaded hours of homework and study each night. We have taken back our evenings and life is good!”
Those were our main reasons to begin homeschooling (we're in our third year now!) and they're still my feelings exactly.
Lately we've had more good days than bad and I'm loving it.
There was a day a couple of weeks ago when one was reading, one was on the ipad working on her essay and one was doing his math. All were working quietly. No one was teasing or yelling at their sibling or swinging at each other! I was making dinner and thought, “I wonder if THIS is what it's like for families who have homeschooled for a long time and are in the groove…” That whole week was awesome, so of course we went out for ice cream to celebrate. 🙂
Less stress!
I've needed to work more on the blog recently (updating stuff, fixing up old posts, and tons more that always needs to be done and takes HOURS) and I've been able to do that AND get my sleep AND make meals, AND do a ton of reading aloud, because we're all into a really good book and can't stop! At the beginning of the year my school planning time seemed to take SO long, but I've finally got that streamlined now, too.
Usually the kids sleep in while I work in the morning (oh how I LOVE not rushing everyone out the door every day!), and then once breakfast, prayers and read aloud is done, I head back to my office while the kids get going on their lists. Later I'll stop and work with each of them on whatever subject they need help with, and then get a start on dinner, laundry, etc. The point is, it's been so NICE not running around like a crazy family, playing Christmas music, enjoying this time leading up to Christmas, and just not feeling stressed about time, although I'll probably never feel totally on top of things again because with the blog there is always so much to do!
My one dilemma, maybe you guys can help me, is feeling guilty that I'm not serving in a ministry somewhere right now.
I certainly help friends and family when they might need me (when Mom was sick last summer everything stopped and helping her was my top priority, because that's what you DO, and I can't tell you how much peace this brings as us kids are grieving her death, knowing we did the right thing), but I've given up everything else, including my role as local WAPF co-chapter leader. My only priorities right now are my family/homeschooling and my business/blog. My “default” answer for everything else in my life lately has been “no”.
It's because of that that I finally don't feel stressed and haggard all the time, and I know that's good…
But what about those in need beyond my family? What about teaching the kids to serve others?!
I used to volunteer a LOT at our church and pretty much ran or had my hand in almost every ministry there at one time; and when we moved to the other side of town (and had more kids by then), I usually did something here at our current church, too, but not now. I don't feel like God wants us running crazy all the time, but I DO know He wants us to help others, so I've been praying, “Lord, show me what I can do to serve others that won't take up a ton of time and make me an over-busy stress case again…”
What do you think?
Is this just a time in my life where it's okay to focus on my family and work, and later I'll be able to serve others again more? Or should I be doing both?
Related:
- My index of homeschooling posts, including how we were led to this crazy awesome decision! I'll list a few below…
- More about how I've found ways to decrease stress lately is in this post: Has Technology Stolen Your Evenings, Weekends, and Vacations? and one more on stress: Lowering Stress and Anxiety by Realigning Your Priorities
- “A Day in the Life” at Our Homeschool! {Video}
- Top 5 Things I Love (and Do NOT Love) about Homeschooling
- Hope for New Homeschoolers and a First Year Update (Including Kent’s Pros and Cons List)
Ellen says
This has been sitting in my inbox for a month waiting for me to write my thoughts, so rather than keep waiting to do it justice, I’ll just say this. Homeschooling and caring for your family ARE your ministries right now. Don’t feel guilty for what is NOT your calling right now. I always thought that I would be back to being busy in my community and church when my kids were grown, but my husband died and I got in an accident that left me disabled so that didn’t work the way I thought it would. Still, every time my daughter gets called to fill in an extra time at church or my sons go out of their way to help me or others, I remind myself that my ministry is still working.
KitchenKop says
Oh Ellen, I’m sorry to hear that, but what a great way to look at it, that your ministry is carrying on!
Thank you for sharing, big hugs to you,
Kelly
Teena says
I was reading old blog posts of yours and came across this one from your “low fat mentality” post.
7 Lisa January 9, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Hi Kelly,
I lost 60+ pounds on the low-fat diet several years ago. While I did get very slim, I was not very healthy and did not feel nearly as good as I do now! I am about a year into this “whole fat is good for you” knowledge and can’t say that I really have any qualms at all. Well other than hearing my doctor harp on me if my cholesterol has gone up. I have no fear about it at all, and I truly believe that God has led me to this realization (your website, too!), and if God is in anything, you (I, we) can’t go wrong. It’s a plain as that to me!
I can’t thank you enough for all you do. The research you put into this “ministry” is very time-consuming, I know. What a gift to all of us!
Lisa
The last few sentences are as true today as they were back in 2009. I hope this will further remind you of how much you do for others. THANK YOU!!! 🙂
KitchenKop says
Thanks Teena. 🙂 I hope you had a good Christmas and when you have a chance let me know how homeschooling is going for you guys!
xoxo,
Kel
Jeanmarie says
Kelly, the way you live your life is a ministry. I don’t doubt that you will find other outside opportunities to serve others once your children are older, but, to me your life sounds perfect the way it is. No, not perfect in a perfectionist sense, but *just right*. Your priorities are right, and you are taking care of your health while spreading good information about health to others. And feeding and educating your children have got to be about the best ways you could hope to spend your time. (I know you take good care of your husband as well.) Give yourself a break and don’t expect more! You don’t have to do everything you will ever accomplish in life *right now*, or do it all simultaneously. Life has different seasons and phases.
Right now I’m helping my elderly parents heal from their automobile accident. I can’t think of anything more important. I also am tossing around ideas in my head for starting a home-based business so that I can become financially independent again. They won’t need me forever, as they won’t be around forever (darn it!), so a new career is definitely on the agenda, but for now, taking care of them is my top priority.
KitchenKop says
Jeanmarie,
You’ve definitely got your priorities right right now, too, and you’ll never regret this time. 🙂
Love,
Kel
Jeanmarie says
Thanks, Kel. I definitely feel blessed to have this time with my parents before it’s too late.
Likewise, I think you will never regret the effort you’ve gone to to institute homeschooling and to spend this wonderful time with your children. You are right where you are most needed!
Beth says
For myself, I plan to do more once the last one is done with homeschooling (and hopefully I’m fully functioning by then!). For the kids…. Each year they lead a community service project of their choice. I help them along, but they lead it. It can be as simple as a food drive to then take to the food bank, lead a fleece blanket workshop where friends/4-Hers come together and make blankets to donate, make sack lunches for our church’s food program for the homeless, lead a small group (even if it’s just the family) in making cards for deployed soldiers, etc. And, of course, they participate in each others’ projects :). That’s one thing that has been great that 4-H promotes: community service. Usually there are other service opportunities through 4-H but that’s what they do individually.
Rebecca says
Dear Kelly,
I didn’t even get through the entire post because I just had to exclaim:” You are ministering to the needs of others!!!” You are an apostle of God’s Word through your generous ministry of healing through providing beneficial information to all of your readers!!! Remember that the greatest saints of the 20th Century (St. John Paul II, San JoseMaria Escriva, Santa Giovanna Beretta Molla and may more) resuscitated the age-old belief and acknowledgement that we do God’s will by performing our daily tasks meaningfully and with spiritual intention, and that is all He desires!!
You do so much for so many people directly in your home and are a luminous example of christian generosity!
God Bless you, have a peaceful and Holy Christmas and a Fruitful 2015, Rebecca and Family
KitchenKop says
Thanks Rebecca, I really do feel “called” and know He’s given me this passion for a purpose. Even though my part is small, I love helping others find the truth and become healthy again.
However I still love the idea of serving the hurting outside our home somehow *with* the kids so they can learn the beauty and power in that. Just praying now for the right thing…
Bless you!
Kel
Rebekah says
Giving yourself this year to serve your family and get in the groove of homeschooling might be just the perfect thing right now! There are always seasons to life and this one might be staying closer to home. Next school year might be completely different and God may give you the perfect way to serve in a more organized way (you shared that you are already meeting the needs of those around you when they come up). Don’t feel guilty that this season looks different then past seasons. Just ask God to open your eyes to ways to serve and He will keep the right things in front of you wether it be your family or other additional things.
Kristi says
First, you are doing the most important work of teaching, raising, loving, and caring for your family. You also help all of us readers and that helps our children. Don’t underestimate your reach and impact.
But I understand the need to help others. Remember that there is a season for everything. I have littles but no business. There’s only so much we can do but we can do things. I write cards for people from church who lost a loved one or who are sick or even for a thank you for a young person who helped out in church for the first time. Words of prayer or encouragement always help others. It’s easy and doesn’t take much time. I assist in Sunday school classes when I can (not head teach) and will sub in when someone is absent. The kids and I went to visit some of the shut ins from church at their nursing homes and brought them a little treat. That was such a blessing to us all, especially my oldest, as well as the person. Donating their old clothes or toys helps others as well as giving to a food bank as a family. We didn’t get to this year but we’ve donated to Operation Christmas Child. There’s lots of ways to volunteer that would benefit you as well as them.
There are many things you can do to fulfill your kind heart that wants to help others. No matter how small it may seem to you, it may be huge to the other person.
Keep us updated with what you choose to do. And congrats at finding your homeschooling groove! It took me almost 2 years to find mine. I just hope it lasts that long! 😉
Sheri Puckette via Facebook says
I strongly believe that raising our kids in a Godly way IS our ministry at certain points in our life. Homeschooling is a very busy time. As far as teaching them about serving others, do you include some kind of community service in their curriculum? “Ministry” or serving others can be included by choosing some service that you can all do together- for example gleaning for a local soup kitchen, walking dogs at the local humane society, or weeding for some church member who needs garden help. When my son was younger we did that kind of thing one morning a week for a couple hours, so it was manageable, and was counted as part of his education.
Trish Hielkema via Facebook says
First priority should be your kids. Ask God to bring the opportunities He wants you to be involved with in His time. So what if you take a year or so off from serving. Right now you are investing in your kids. If God needs your talents used elsewhere He knows where to find you
Aida says
(from a mom who homeschooled her kids from prek thru college) my dear, as others have said, in this season of life, your family is your ministry. You also serve your readers – that’s a ministry too. Guilty feelings do not come from God.
If you really want to teach your kids about serving others, why not start with prayer? Great ministry opportunities come by lifting up others! Pray for everyone who sends your family a Christmas card. Pray through your church’s prayer list. Pray for the nation and our leaders. Maybe, even, send a card saying we prayed for you today – with a child’s drawing enclosed. Encouraging and affirming others is a ministry. This would also be something you can do as you have time and not have to leave the house to do another activity.
It seems to me you have found a balance for your home – and that is a blessed thing! No is not a 3 letter word. Another thing you can do, is filter requests for your time and energy through your husband…ask him if this is something you and the kids should add – and help him to guide the home!
A branda says
Oh the tortures of having such a big heart 😉
Shalom ministries will let your whole family go to their orphanage on a “missions trip”
They monthly tell their needs for the time. Like one month it was socks. And you can write the children at the orphanage and they can write back via email! That would be nice for the whole family. I was thinking you would have thought twice about writing the word “guilt” as the feeling 😉
KitchenKop says
Yep, I should’ve used a different word, for sure, LOL! 🙂
Kel
Patty Jaynes says
I don’t want to be rude, but since when is your family not a ministry? What are we called to do as Christians? Share the gospel and disciple. That’s exactly what you are doing as a homeschool mom. Sure, you can still teach a Sunday School, serve in your homeschool co-op, do your blog, or other ministries, but home is the main focus of a ministry in this season of life. You can do tons of ministries when the kids graduate. Really. God is not a guilt trip. Good works are an outgrowth of our faith, not a have to-do list.
KitchenKop says
You are all such a gift and very helpful, too. I have to say though, that maybe “guilt” wasn’t the right word to use. It’s not really guilt, it’s just the feeling that there might be something else I could be doing to help those less fortunate. SO I love the idea that some of you mentioned of maybe finding a way we could serve as a family, but only in a way that isn’t necessarily ongoing, because that could get overwhelming again. This really is something I want to model for our kids (helping others), but at the same time, I do NOT want to model a frazzled parent who is never truly present to them, so I will continue to focus mostly here at home. 🙂
Thanks so much for all your kindness, my sweet reader friends. I love you guys.
Kel
Candy Schmiedicke says
Kelly, more women need to realize that their FAMILY in these oh-so-quickly-passing years IS their MINISTRY! We home schooled 7 of our children (20 years!) and I can say it was well worth the time and effort. I would second the comments from Kathleen and Kelly Brown and Elizabeth and the others–It would have been a blessing to have had so much wisdom when I was in the midst of home schooling! Keep up the good work, Kelly!
Elizabeth says
Kelly,
Thank you for sharing. I have homeschooled since the beginning…my oldest is 11 and in 6th grade and I have a 5th grader, 3rd grader, 1st grader and 11 mos. old. I read your post and was so encouraged that it is possible to find a happy balance and to not be stressed all the time!!! I have been seeking that for a while. Thanks for giving some of us hope! I know the business of babies and toddlers makes things extra crazy and stressful to me….but to just know that it is possible to find a happy place is encouraging. Enjoy it and don’t stress over not doing enough! Also if you feel called do something I would start with once in a while things that don’t require long term commitments and don’t make you feel guilty. Sponsor a family at Christmas time, help clan the church for Easter etc… God Bless! Thanks for your blog!
Kelly Brown says
Kelly, your entire a blog is your ministry! Your homeschool is your ministry! You help so many people, but since it’s not at church you feel it isn’t service. That is not true! And when you step up to help, support or encourage family or friends when they’re in need, your kids see that. Everything you’re doing everyday is serving others…don’t cut yourself short or feel guilty! I was in a mom’s group at church last year & as we talked, we all felt we weren’t doing enough or falling short in different areas. Finally, one mom said, “Guilt is not of God! God will never tell us, ‘You’re awful with your kids.’ or ‘You’re not doing enough!'” Isn’t that true! It’s the enemy who wants us to think we’re not enough or not doing enough…not our gentle, loving Father! Remember that we all have seasons in our life. We’re homeschooling (I’m in our second year…because of you!) because we want to pour into our kids while we have them. This stage doesn’t last long & you can’t get this time back. When the kids are grown, you can serve at church all you want! For now, be thankful that you are using your passions & talents to share so much with all of us through your blog & with your children! So, no more feeling bad…I absolve you of your guilt! 😉 Merry Christmas to you & your family!
jmr says
I agree with everyone else that raising a Godly family is a ministry. But if you want something else to do, I would suggest that you focus on occasional donating of your time rather than try to find something that takes so much time and energy it makes you crazy. I don’t know what opportunities are available at your church, but look around and see.
For example, our homeless lunch ministry has weekly volunteers, but also people who bring in occasional special treats or those who we can call on when we’re running low on paper towels or paper cups. We have a cookie ministry and a group that makes meals for parishioners who are recovering from illness or have a new baby. The organizers of those groups work hard, but those who just make a meal or a batch of cookies once a month get to contribute without feeling overwhelmed. This month, we’ve also had opportunities to volunteer to decorate the church, replace last year’s hymnal’s with new ones, and buy Christmas gifts for needy families, homeless shelters, and nursing home residents.
So at this stage in your life, choosing one time opportunities may be better than a weekly (or daily) commitment.
Julie says
Raising your children in the proper way is a ministry in itself!
Abranda says
BE FREE from any guilt. Guilt is a sure sign the constant nagging isn’t from God. He is an Encourager and a , not a “tear you down” and “driving” you God. The lie that we are not doing enough, no matter how much we do. Going to bed thinking of all we didn’t get done. Waking up thinking of all we need to do, always the “not enough” hovering around us. Break Free. I completely understand what you are saying and feeling. One scripture that encourages your whole being to be at peace is “Godliness with contentment is great gain.” BUT if you need a specific command from Jesus, confirming you are enough and ARE doing His ministry( a person acting as the agent or instrument of another.
—verb (used with object)
to administer or apply: to minister the last rites.
Archaic. to furnish; supply.
—verb (used without object)
to perform the functions of a religious minister.
to give service, care, or aid; attend, as to wants or necessities.: to minister to the needs of the hungry.
to contribute, as to comfort or happiness.)…Mark 5:19 makes it very clear that He calls people to their own homes to be the place they do ministry. Family. Is. Ministry.
How about Deuteronomy 6:7. Clear calling and command, and looks like a very full time ministry going on. You are right were you need to be. Doing what you need to do. Your children and husband are who you give your Jesus in you to. Much will come of this. Fruit you may never see, but is being and going to be.
Let every man abide in the calling wherein he is called and his work will be as sacred as the work of the ministry. It is not what a man does that determines whether his work is sacred or secular, it is why he does it.
A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God
Let us practice the fine art of making every work a priestly ministration. Let us believe that God is in all our simple deeds and learn to find Him there.
A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God
If I could relive my life, I would devote my entire ministry to reaching children for God.
Dwight L. Moody
Every true work is not done to the poor. Every true work is done to Me.
Watchman Nee, The Normal Christian Life
I do not consecrate myself to be a missionary or a preacher. I consecrate myself to God to do His will where I am, be it in school, office, or kitchen, or wherever He may, in His wisdom, send me.
Watchman Nee, The Normal Christian Life
Book- One Thousand Gifts:A Dare To Live Fully Right Where You Are- Ann Voskamp
A must for the contentment seeker.
https://www.incourage.me/2014/11/how-to-make-a-plan-to-not-let-anything-make-you-feel-worthless-this-time-of-year.html
I don’t expect this comment to be in any way a sense of order. I started writing it two hours ago, four kids, so much to insert here, and ending with popcorn everywhere!
Kelly, as a side thought, until you go on mission trips outside the home, you DO minister to me, and through me, my family.
Julie says
Thank you for the excerpts from Watchman Nee’s book ” The Normal Christian Life”. I hope everyone will read what you said and read this wonderful book. I have worn my copy thin it is that good.
Susan says
I can think of no better way to serve our Father than to raise good, Christian children, because once they are raised and gone, just think of the millions of ways they will go out and bless the world. You are right where you are supposed to be, Kel. Also, don’t forget the many people you bless with this blog alone; the lives you’ve changed!
Perhaps until there is more free time (or more energy!), you can find other ways for the kids to bless and service the community. How about letters to soldiers? Or a pen pal to a senior? How about cleaning out rooms and taking the unused stuff somewhere its needed (my town has a thrift shop that uses the proceeds from the store to feed over 200 families right here in our town), or asking your priest if someone in the church needs something and then put the kids on a mission for a creative way to help that person. Or have them Google volunteer opportunities in your town and let them come up with one they would all want to do together. My girlfriend’s daughter used to knit blankets for newborns with teenage mothers. Another person’s son used to collect cans and then used the money to buy socks for the homeless people. Then this same young man would get a bunch of people together to make PB&J sandwiches and then they would pass out the 2 things that all homeless people want: a meal, and dry, clean socks.
First off, stop putting all the responsibility on your shoulders, Mama! You are doing a great job! Enjoy this special at home time you’ve been blessed with! They’ll all be grown and gone soon. And in the meantime, stir THEIR creative juices and have them come up with a way to volunteer that will work within your time limits and school/home schedule. Then once they’ve helped a person or two, have them write a paper about how it made them feel!
Kathy says
You ARE serving your family and your readers. The time you spent with your Mom is the greatest gift you could’ve ever given your Mother and yourself. Memories were made last summer that will last through your children’s lifetimes. You demonstrated unconditional love and service to your Mom and your children watched with admiration, I’m sure. Your husband truly married a Proverbs woman. God will place on your heart the time and place to serve in other ways when He’s ready. Be patient and savor this more peaceful time in your life. As you well know it only takes a moment for it to be turned upside down. Breathe, rest and enjoy this time with your lovely family.
Blessings to you and Merry Christmas.
Kimberly says
#1 Yes, it is your job to focus on your husband and kids right now.
#2 Who says you aren’t serving? I’m blessed for having you in my inbox. 🙂
Ronnette Condron says
Almost 2 years ago my daughter and her husband and my 2 beautiful granddaughters got out of the military and we decided to all live together. It has been wonderful and last december my daughter gave me a grandson 🙂 We just celebrated his 1st birthday. Living together has been a challenge and a joy. A few months ago my daughter started to get sick. Four months of not being able to get off the couch and a 50lb weight loss later she was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. I work full time and sang in the choir and taught sunday school. In the midst of all this I had to come to the painful decision that I cannot do everything. My service then needed to be centered on my home. My grandchildren needed me, my daughter who could not function needed me. I have hopes to one day return to my previous places of service, but in the meantime God has shown me that this too (my family) is where my place is now and it is just as important as “outside” service. Do not feel guilty about not serving “outside” the home. “Outside” service starts inside the home. As an aside, we have implemented the Gaps diet for my daughter and she is doing wonderful! She is off the couch and getting her strength back. This Christmas our family is truly blessed. Find the blessing in yours and say thank you God for THIS place that I am serving and you too will find peace. Merry Christmas.
Jill says
So many biblical references pop into my head as I read about how well your family is doing now that you’ve scaled back on responsibilities…
Mary and Martha
Knowing a tree by its fruit
The fruit of the Spirit (love,joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness gentleness, self-control)
….And then glancing up to the beginning of Galations 5 and Paul’s discussion of freedom and not trying to be justified by law… (not that it is a specific “law” per se that is weighing on your conscience, but a general unspoken feeling that to be a good Christian you must serve in an official ministry could be a sort of unspoken “rule” that you’ve imposed upon yourself.)
Life consists of seasons (another biblical reference!) and there really is a time for everything. EVERYONE in your family seems to be doing better by your description. Your kids are even more peaceful (fruits of the spirit). It seems like you know in your heart what the right thing to do is, but you must release yourself from “rules” that are probably not coming from the Spirit of God.
At a later season, when the time is right, you might have real peace about serving again in an official capacity with your church or other ministry. In the meantime, your family iand your blog are both legitimate ministries! And surely there are ministry opportunities that arrise here and there that you can all participate in without the time commitment that would stretch you guys to the point where everyone is tense and rushed all the time again. You’ll never have this time back with your kids, and how wonderful for them to look back fondly at their childhood and time with their mom. And to remember their mom in a pleasant, peaceful state too, not frantically rushing about trying to please God (who is your loving heavenly Father, not a taskmaster).
Lori Alexander says
This comment was written by JR Miller in HomeMaking MANY years ago, “For the wife the first duty is the making and keeping of her own home! Her first and best work should be done there and until it is well done she has no right to go outside to take up other duties. She is to be a “worker at home!” She must look upon her home as the one spot on earth, for which she alone is responsible, and which she must cultivate well for God, even if she never does anything outside. For her the Father’s business is not attending benevolent societies, and missionary meetings, and mother’s meetings, and bible conventions, or even teaching a Sunday school class until she has made her own home all that her wisest thought and best skill can make it!….Let it be remembered that Christ’s work in the home is the first that he gives to every wife, and that no amount of consecrated activities in other spheres, will atone for neglect or failure there.”
Lucinda says
Hi Kelly, I love that you have found balance in your life. Maybe you could add a group ministry activity here and there–something the whole family could do. There are many opportunities out there to help others, and it does not have to be a huge time commitment. For example, you could find out where the Feeding America food truck is delivering near you and volunteer at the next delivery. Or maybe your family volunteers to watch another couple’s children so they can have a night out. That can mean a lot when money is tight and it gives the kids a chance to give back.
Heather M Pelletier says
I think that serving your family is a ministry in itself. If you have time then you can do your volunteering, or even make a time during the school week that the whole family can do some volunteering. I too have recently begun homeschooling, albeit he’s only in preschool but it’s tons of fun and we have a great time. I also teach my niece who is 6 months older than he is so it works out great. Your family is who needs your focus right now and you can always work it in if you have the time and “sanity”, God will understand and knows your heart. You can always make up for what you feel you’re not doing at a later time. God Bless and enjoy your family.
Lori says
I couldn’t agree more. I heard a mom of 15 once speak at a conference about how she felt really, really guilty for many years about not helping in the ministry — anything outside the home. But, as her oldest hit mid-teens, all of a sudden the church began getting more and more helpers (in her case) who were mature and capable, and able to help in far more capacities than she would be. Suddenly, in a few short years, the church had lots of help from this family. However, if she had tried to split her time, she felt she would not have been able to have peace in her home and raise her children well enough to be good helpers and have a servants’ heart. She was also worried about not volunteering together to model it; she found by teaching them to serve one another, it accomplished the task without leaving home and welcoming in the crazy. Now that I have 16- and 14-year-olds, I find her words are very true. Enjoy your family while you can! This season will end, and another season will begin (both joys — just different!).
Kathleen says
You are serving in a ministry…your family. Love begins at home. You are feeding the hungry, giving drink to the thirsty, clothing the naked, giving counsel to the doubtful etc. Get the picture? I had the privilege of privately meeting Mother Teresa, along with my husband and children ( because we homeschooled they were able to go with) many years ago at one of her convents in the Bronx. After I met her I felt I had ‘missed’ my vocation, that I should have been a Missionary of Charity. Mother Teresa wrote a little not to me afterwards ( we asked for her address and asked if we could correspond through the mail). Mother told me that my vocation was to love my family, that is my vocation. I have seen so many mothers go out and leave their children to minister to others. Often later, these kids turn to drugs or alcohol to fill the hole .
KitchenKop says
Kathleen,
You met Mother Teresa, WOW, thank you for sharing about her message to you, very powerful. 🙂
Kel
Momof4 says
My husband tells me this all the time as a reminder. I see so many good families serving in so many ways and feel guilty that I cannot volunteer. He reminds me that our first and foremost charity is our vocation as a wife and mother. We are to use this vocation to grow holy, which means if it stresss all of us out to reach outside our walls, then it cannot be Gods will. God only wants peace for us and when we are doing His will we have peace. Yet the devil knows how to use our pride to tempt us into thinking we should do “better”. Our family motto for choosing where to move or what to do next is, “If it doesn’t fit then it isn’t Gods will.” A short description is that if something ruins our peace or
takes so much effort that it takes the order out of our lives then it isn’t what God wants for OUR FAMILY, as noble and holy as it may seem. I love the description of feeding the hungry and clothing the naked. In our family letter for Christmas I made a reference of our apostolate of feeding the hungry and clothing the naked that cannot expand past these four walls of our home bc of the needs within our home. Just because it seems second nature to take care of your family doesn’t mean they are not works of mercy! I use this to remind myself to think about whether I am being TRULY present for my husband and children, fulfilling not only their physical needs, but also their emotional and spiritual. Maybe it is as simple as taking more time to soak in the loved ones around you and fulfill their needs in a deeper way. ❤️ You are doing great, so give yourself credit for seeking Gods desires! ❤️ I do understand wanting to do more together sometimes as a
family and when the time is right, He will open that door!
Peggy says
Yay! It sounds like you have hit your stride! Those first couple years can be so hard that often moms don’t believe that it can ever be like this!
When we were ready for ministry outside the home, and it was a while before we got there, we looked for opportunities where we could all serve together. Our church operates a mobile kitchen, for example, and we would go spend a day serving there. If you need time apart from the kids, a ministry on your own might be better, but finding things to do as a family really cements the lessons of brotherly love you are already learning at home.
Sheryl says
You do a disservice to yourself and your family when you try to do too much. Give yourself permission to have a happy, peaceful home. Also, give yourself credit for things you are currently doing that help others, like writing this blog. If you still feel the need to do more, certainly you could gather things to donate to families in need. And if that is still not enough? Put a reminder your calendar to start looking for the ministry opportunity in six months. 🙂
Kristie says
“Also, give yourself credit for things you are currently doing that help others, like writing this blog.”
My thoughts exactly. Your blog has been so very valuable to me as a homeschooling mom and real foodie.
I homeschool my son, but we are still technically part of the public school system. They have an alternative program here that allows parents to teach their children at home, but still have contacts at the school that help you along. The school pays for all your books, has all kinds of field trips and such planned (that they also pay for), and an advisor is assigned to your child to help with any questions, problems, and to offer feedback. The only downside is that you have to use their curriculum (Calvert), which is still pretty much structured like a traditional public school lesson plan. But, they are very flexible with it. You don’t have to stick with to a T. It’s just important to them that you cover the major concepts, but there is freedom to play around with it.
Anyway, part of the requirements for my son’s schooling is that he complete at least 8 hours of community service over the school year, and then at the end of the year, a project showcasing what he has done is made. So, I think it would still be possible for Kelly to serve others in her community; she would just need to choose things that the kids could be involved in as well. That way it would be a whole family kind of thing, and still be part of their schooling.