It's ironic that I'm asking you for advice on the topic of boredom, when the exact opposite is what led us to homeschooling in the first place. Our kids were always doing homework, and never had a chance to be bored. I wanted that opportunity for them!
I know that some boredom is a very good thing. That's what is often the precursor to creativity, or to diving into a good book, or dreaming about their future. A little bit never hurt anybody.
But when is it too much?
Today we had our first rainy day in a long time and our kids' friends weren't home. They already finished their list for the day, and I had work to do!
A perfect storm you might say.
Nothing I suggested sounded good to them, so of course I used the age-old threat: “I'll find a job for you to do then.” That's when they took off. For a little while anyway, until the pestering began again.
It's not a big deal right now, because most days their friends are around the neighborhood, but of course I'm all nervous that we'll have days like this come fall. I want to have solutions ready so I don't resort to TV (like I did today) or to other screen time, but I'm fresh out.
My dream is that when all of their friends are back in school, and when we implement the ‘NO screen time until after dinner rule' this fall, that they'll get bored enough to go pick up a book and see how much fun reading is; but so far they only do it rarely or when I'm forcing them to.
But what if it ends up being an issue every day and soon they're asking to go back to school because they're bored? That's what my fear boils down to.
I don't want to become their ‘cruise director', though, and have to be constantly making suggestions of what they can do when they're bored, or feeling pressure to make everything “fun” all of the time. Once we do school in the mornings this fall, and our planned field trips or fun activities here and there, I'll have work to do in the afternoons!
HELP! (Thank you!)
Fun Beasts says
Thank you for sharing these wonderful ideas! I will make an effort to do these things at home.
mr mada says
Rainy days are great for a Netflix documentary. They have so many educational documentaries!
kitchenkop says
Do you have any favorites to recommend?
Kelly
Jacob says
Not all kids enjoy to read, i am 13 and honeschooled and the best thing to do on a day like that is screen time! So many things like creativity and learning can come out of just a fee hours online, i learned more stuff online, and learned to be creative! Weather programing or playing games! Social media is also a great way to connect with s when your not with them. Give technolagy anotgrr try.
Stuart says
It’s a lame answer, but I always say books! You could also make a Boredom Jar filled with chores that are age appropriate, and say “I want you to find ways to entertain yourself be it books, board games, etc., but if I hear you say ‘I’m bored’ then you’ll pull a chore out of the Boredom Jar.”
sherborne @What to do when your bored says
I also did amazing things when i was bored. Certainly its the time when you innovate new things and ideas.
Great Sharing!
Jeanmarie says
I remember a PBS reality-type show a few years ago where a few families agreed to live for, I forget how long, six months maybe?, as 1880s pioneers in Montana. It was grueling, but one of the children loved it, as I recall. He talked about how “we rediscovered imagination” without TVs, computers, electronic toys of any kind.
Ann Marie @ CHEESESLAVE says
Frontier House! I love that show!
The family that won were from Malibu, CA. They were illegally distilling liquor. Which is my plan if the dollar crashes.
Kelly the Kitchen Kop says
You’re all FULL of great advice and ideas, thank you so much for giving me lots to think about and lots of reasons to just relax about it. 🙂
Ann Marie, I can’t wait for that post!
Kel
Ann Marie @ CHEESESLAVE says
Hi, Kelly!
We got to hear Sandra Dodd speak at the homeschooling conference last week and it has convinced us to do unschooling. You can get a copy of her book (HIGHLY recommended) on Amazon — Sandra Dodd’s Big Book of Unschooling.
If you tell your kids they can do whatever they like, they are not likely to ever get bored. Kate’s been home a lot lately because we just lost her nanny, and what she likes to do most of the time is (1) play computer games (2) watch movies and shows on Netflix (3) play with her dolls. In that order.
I used to worry that maybe she was watching too much TV or playing computer games too much but now after hearing Sandra Dodd speak and meeting her grown children (who grew up getting to do whatever they wanted and are now AWESOME, passionate, articulate, confident adults), I’m convinced that we should let kids follow their bliss.
We’re also going to be starting up our own local homeschool group with weekly park days. And I think regular outings to museums, parks, swimming pools, martial arts (or whatever kind of class they are interested in) are important, too. Kate is doing tae soo do twice a week (Korean martial art similar to karate).
I’ll be blogging about this soon.
Laura says
Ooh yay! More posts about unschooling to read soon!
Betheney Baird says
Rainy days are great for a Netflix documentary. They have so many educational documentaries!
Sue E. says
I didn’t have the chance to read all of the comments, so I am sorry if I repeat anything.
My first thought is: your kids haven’t been used to being around each other 24/7 enough to realize that they have their friends right at their fingertips all the time! My kids, ages 13, 10, 8, and 5, are constantly playing together, using their imaginations being soldiers, spies, having singing and dance parties, making videos of their singing and dance parties, etc. I will admit that my 13 yo daughter is a little more removed these days from the 3 boys, but she is often with them still.
I agree with someone above who said it really isn’t our job to entertain them, but to have things available, and maybe make suggestions when necessary.
One thing to remember, that I learned recently, is that people 100 years ago didn’t even know the word “bored”……:)
Frankly, during the homeshool year, my kids don’t have time to be bored. The older ones have enough work to keep them busy during the school day, and the younger ones have fun with Legos, Playmobil, etc, when they aren’t working with me. Sometimes the older ones have time to play with them, too.
You can do this, Kelly. The kids will adapt to the new life God has called you to!
Blessings,
Sue E.
Kymberly says
Some parent instigated, but lightly supervised, undirected ideas to help with bordem:
Turn on some music in the house. I usually do every day. It changes the atmosphere. Quiet music can inspire introspection. Lively music can sometimes inspire dancing or imaginary “band” play. Holiday tunes are fun to have on in December.
Get out a few toys, legos, puzzles, play doh with tools, board games, etc. and put them in an obvious place for the kids to come across. Rotate choices according to interest.
Turn on books on CD selections and let them play.
Give permission to build sheet/blanket houses in the living room with binder clips or other supports. Forts can lead to hours of fun, especially with flashlights.
Get out art supplies and arrange them invitingly on a table.
Give permission to make home movies with a phone or a camera.
Get the kids to prepare and cook food for themselves as much as possibe (if you don’t already). My 4 kids (ages 9-15 now) have been making themselves breakfast and lunch for years. I taught each of them to use the stove (highly supervised) when they were about 7. I’m in the kitchen quite a bit myself, so this works well for our family.
Save cardboard boxes, especially larger ones, and set them out. They can turn into all sorts of things.
Lay a blanket out flat on a floor. It becomes a freshly defined space of interest that can invite creative activity.
Move furniture around. We have removed our living room coffee table from time to time to open up space. Now and then, we have put comfy chairs in a room where they weren’t before. We have set up a card table and chairs in the living room for a week here and there. We have rearranged the layout of couches. Occasionally, we have put older mattresses on the livingroom floor for weeks at a time (great for reading, or for “campouts”). Small, temporary changes to the environment can be like a breath of fresh air to the mind and imagination.
Anisa says
Some really good comments above. I was homeschooled for several years and totally agree that there is definitely an adjustment period. I am also a teacher now–a kindergarten teacher actually and sometimes I have children in my class who struggle to play or consider playing to be pestering other children–or adults. There are more and more children who struggle to play and go about their day with purpose. It is in these moments that I do get them closer to me, usually with a physical task (we have a kitchen in my classroom), something very physical that I enjoy doing. It’s like they just need to know that there is a steady adult who is busy about what they love and be in there presence a bit and then they get “filled up” and they can often go and play peacefully. Your children may just be calling for a bit of connection so maybe following through on having them do some tasks would be really helpful for them, especially tasks with you if they are younger. I know though that even older children often enjoy spending time with parents too. The key is that you love the task. They will sense your distaste for it a mile away and then unhappiness and resentment will follow–not a nice combination with boredom…
Having said that, there are moments too when it is reasonable to expect older children to go and entertain themselves but they too sometimes need a bit of guidance, especially if their days have been filled with someone else (like a teacher) planning every moment.
Hope that helps. Homeschooling was a saving grace for me and thanks to my parents I have successfully overcome many obstacles, including the occasional case of boredom.
Heather says
The kids struggle to entertain themselves BECAUSE they have someone else doing it all for them at daycare and at home. Any kid old enough to move around under their own steam is more than capable of entertaining themselves for long stretches of time, generally even without getting into trouble. Just make sure they have plenty they can access without it being a problem and that they know what their limits are. Having a safe place to play outdoors on their own helps a lot. We have a big yard, a huge sand box with flea market Tonka trucks, a freecycled swingset, and a bunch of ride-on toys, and my older kids (5 and 3 1/2) manage to entertain themselves for hours without any help from me. Heck, even my just-turned-1 year-old is often busy on missions of his own for 20 minutes at a time. I just make sure whatever he is doing is safe and leave him to explore his world! The kids have good toys in their room (lots of building sets, pretend toys, etc–I try for maximum play value) to play with, and my 5 year-old reads fluently and will often do that for an hour at a stretch. We go to our park day and to the library for storytime and to get books, and then wherever else we need to go. 4H takes 5 year-olds these days, so I am thinking of putting my 5 year-old in 4H this fall.
(I worked as a daycare teacher for years, and have most of an elem ed degree myself. I’ve had the child development classes. Take ’em with about a sack of salt. Kids don’t change from decade to decade. How they act does, because of how they are interacted with and what’s expected of them)
Sue says
I don’t homeschool, but I have a friend who homeschooled her 3 kids from kindergarten through high school. Her oldest is in graduate school now. The middle one is at Stevens Institute for Technology studying IT Security, and the youngest is a professional ballet dancer. She said that it was critical that the kids had regular activities out of the house – not just church. The girls had regular ballet a couple times a week (which paid off for the youngest). The boy was in a sport each season – la crosse, etc. It’s important for socializing, developing physical skills, and developing outside interests (because you can’t be all things to them – they can’t reach their full potential if they can only learn what you know). (FYI – she said that she had to hire a professional tutor for high school math & science. She wasn’t happy with the available homeschool products and didn’t feel like she could teach it adequately herself. She shared the cost with other homeschoolers, though and they all met at together. I’m not sure how she handed foreign language.)
Anyway – a few ideas… our local YMCA offers fitness classes for homeschoolers (like the gym class they would have in school) or even just the regular gymnastics or sports. You might also consider art and music lessons. A music teacher would probably come to you if all three kids were taking lessons – you’d probably also get a discount. Middle school music teachers can usually teach multiple instruments. We had our local middle school music teacher come over weekly to teach my son trombone, and my daughter violin. He also could have taught them flute, clarinet, or any brass instrument. If they had gotten more advanced, they would have had to move on to a different teacher, but it was good exposure for them.
We also have an small art museum nearby that does kids classes in the summers and in the afternoons. My daughter did a week long course in claymation. Now she has a little studio set up the basement with a folding table, lighting, a cheap digital camera & tripod, and lots of clay. She does all the editing on iMovie. She makes her own scenery on poster board. She’ll spend hours down there making all kinds of cute little movies. So, investing one week in this class has given her a wonderful, creative hobby that really engages her.
Here’s another one – both my kids love “teach yourself” books and DVDs. My daughter’s favorite its to teach herself drawing and cartooning. She works with these tutorials and has a great time and I think she’s developing valuable skills. My son is programming his own video games.
I don’t remember how old your kids are, but they could probably teach themselves computer programming at some point (if they are interested). Their are free podcasts online that teach you how to make iPhone & iPad apps.
When all else fails – line up some free video podcasts for them to watch. There are lot of educational ones for kids on iTunes.
One more thing to consider – now that my friend’s kids are all grown and out of the house, she runs a homeschool co-op. Homeschoolers in the area have joined together to form their own, informal, private homeschool where they can share resources. I’m not sure how it all works, but I know that some parents pay, and my friend another woman develop the curriculum and teach the kids in their home. The lesson there is to find and make friends with the other homeschoolers in your town and help each other out. Maybe you can rotate having the kids at each other’s houses for whatever – music, carpool to the Y, etc.
Good luck!
Sue says
Sorry — I should have read your other post first. I see you are already doing a lot of this. Look into the Teach Yourself options and the Podcasts though. They are great for a rainy day. Today (which is very rainy), my daughter has decided to teach herself guitar (because we happened to have a Teach Yourself book lying around).
mgw says
You all may know all this, but here’s a short list:
Victorian literature for children is topnotch, one of my favorites being E. Nisbet.
https://voices.yahoo.com/the-greatest-childrens-literature-classics-71777.html
Two contemporary acclaimed children’s writers:
http://www.philip-pullman.com
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iona_and_Peter_Opie
Best of luck to children and learners.
mgw
But you
Genet says
(hugs)
*deep breaths*
🙂
You know? Adults don’t always handle free time well either. 🙂
You have slightly older children right ?
But yes, as mentioned above. Try to help your children figure out what REALLY REALLY interests them. Horses ? Art ? It might even something we deem bad like — computer games ! But help them to take that and dive into the research and experiential aspect of it. For instance, if they like things on the computer, help them find tutorials on computer programming.
Do they like to write stories? Start a blog ? Start a newspaper ?
Do they like the pop music of today? Get them guitar lessons. . . . .
etc
Encourage them to follow their own interests in a big way! Or to be entrepreneurial. Pretty soon that WON’T be a problem! 🙂
Jacob says
I am 13 and i couldent agree more! Computers arent bad, they can be a great time waster, way to connect with friends, and a eay to build stuff!
Cat says
Make a corner (or shelf or table) into a “Learning Center.” Mary Hood, author of “Relaxed Homeschooling” created this method for her family. You dedicate a small area to a topic and gather books, games, videos, manipulatives, and whatever — and just leave it out! You can schedule a time to use it, or let it spur the kids on to greater things on their own.
Peggy says
Gotta second Elizabeth here. An uninspired kid won’t come up with exciting things on his own. But a family viewing of an old Errol Flynn movie might be inspiring enough to last through many hours of self-directed entertainment.
Once the kids get past “book larnin” and into their imaginations, boredom will rarely be an issue anymore. I keep the volumes of KONOS unit studies on a low shelf and find the kids using them often for how to make a suit of armor or barometer or St. Lucia wreath.
The hardest part is YOU not giving in to the temptation to provide activities. Keep in mind the end goal: children who are taught of the Lord, who can do and think and learn and provide for themselves and eventually their own.
Elizabeth says
You’ve received lots of great comments so far!
Just yesterday, one of my little kids said they were bored. An older, wiser brother said, “Haven’t you learned by now not to tell Mom you’re bored??” 😉 He has learned by experience that when a child tells me that he or she is bored, I quickly find something for them to do! I tell them that I have so much to do that I never have time to get bored, so I share the wealth (of work) with them! 🙂 This has worked for the past 27 years! 🙂
If you want something else other than your chore list to keep them un-bored, I suggest two things.
#1 Invest in a variety of educational resources for your home. These might be things like Moody Science DVDs, Creation Science magazines, Books with science experiments using items from around the house, Math It game, Math games on computer, computer games like The Oregon Trail, GeoSafari interactive globe, games like Axis and Allies or Risk or Where in the World is Carmen SanDiego, biographies, good quality fiction books, a digital camera or videocamera, Wii games, Wii Fit, etc., etc.
#2 Make up a list on your computer called, “50 Things to Do When You are Bored.” Make a list that includes all of the things I’ve mentioned above and whatever else you can think of. When your children come to you and say you are bored, refer them to above list. If they are still bored, refer back to your chore list! There is usually a car that needs washed, a dog that needs washed, some laundry to fold, a porch that needs swept, etc., etc.! 🙂
Hope this helps!
blessings on your year,
Elizabeth (mom of 10, homeschooler for over 20 years)
leigh says
Elizabet – can you tell me a little about the Creation Science magazine? I found it online except it didn’t specify what age group it’s for (my little ones are 6 and under).
Heather says
Your #2 suggestion might work well as a “job jar”, from which the kids draw a slip of paper with something to do. Could be part jobs, part activities. Also, is 4H a possibility? 4H is generally not connected to school, and has the kind of projects that benefit from some attention daily, but it’s not all farm stuff.
Sarah says
The posts above are spot on. Around here my children hear me say, “Only boring people get bored.” 🙂 It takes a little while for the creative thinking on their part to kick in. For the most part now around here, once school is done I have to hunt a child down if I need them to do something. It seems I only hear the, “I’m bored” when we’re not doing a full day of school, so I’m also quick to say “there’s more school to be done.” 🙂 I’d also recommend getting a book of science experiments. There’s quite a few out there that are done with household items. This way if they need help with some creativity they’ve got it without me having to be right there with them.
Oh, one more thing. We were always a family of lots of “screen time”. How I inched us away from it was getting rid of “live” tv at times and going to just dvd or when available Instant Watch from Netflix. I also made the rule that they could only watch educational shows before school. It’s worked for us. I find it amusing when I hear begging to finish watching about Ghengis Khan, etc. before we start with the first subject of the day. I also have had educational computer games for them to use while in the elementary grades.
Prayers and blessings…
Heather says
We just do netflix on a roku box and dvd’s. Roku even has a Khan Academy channel already set up. The nice thing with that as opposed to TV/cable is that when a show is over, NOTHING comes on next, so it is much, much easier to watch one show and shut it off. And substantially easier to be in control of what’s being watched. AND (this is a biggie!) there are NO commercials! This certainly makes being a real food household easier. My kids have seldom watched TV with commercials, so they get really annoyed when we are somewhere else and commercials interrupt their show!
Heather says
Repeat after me: It is NOT my job to keep my kids entertained!! In fact, it is not good for them for me to do so.
Keep stuff around for them to do, and don’t worry if they are bored a bit at first. It won’t hurt them, and pretty soon they will learn to manage their own time. Remember, except for a bit during summer, they’ve had their entire schedule done FOR them for years. This is part of what is generally called “deschooling”. Give ’em some time and let them find out what they like so much that they will not be bored!
(I’ll bet your mom didn’t spend her day trying to keep you from being bored–except for the work as boredom cure part, which I think most of our moms did. Until lots of kids started going to day care and having their days scheduled, it didn’t generally occur to people that someone should entertain little kids during the day.)
If you haven’t read any of John Taylor Gatto’s writing, I find him inspiring as far as reminding me that this is the best possible thing we can do for our kids. He’ll make you think, though.
https://www.lewrockwell.com/gatto/gatto-arch.html
Heidi @MamaNibbles says
There are SO many craft subscription services out there for kids and moms alike! Why not sign up for something like Kelly Kits or something? It would occupy at least a little bit of time. We subscribe to a few different services that are rather inexpensive and they honestly save my poor brain from having to think up stuff to do that is creative. 🙂
Toshia says
Hi Heidi,
Would you mind listing some of the other services you are using? Thanks!
Shannon S says
I agree with the poster above. Keep lots of supplies for creativity around ( craft supplies, science experiment supplies etc,) so they can just go create. Lots of library books on what they are interested in, then let them go pursuing those interests. Keeps my kids busy for weeks at a time (latest fascination was with the HMS Hood for my 11 yo and my 6 yo loved the German battleship Bismark)Iit is amazing the reading they will do on their own to learn something they are interested in!
Erin says
Kelly, I know it is difficult, but days like today are the perfect opportunity to further the lessons of homeschooling. One of the reasons we homeschooled our children is that we wanted them to be able to think for themselves and we want them to be able to entertain themselves. Translated that means that we expect them to fill some of their own time with their own chosen activities. Honestly, the best advice I ever received was to allow at least one month of homeschooling for each year that the kids were in traditional school as an adjustment period. (So, when we pulled my then-done-with-fourth-grade son out of school, we needed five months adjustment…get it?)
Now you need to take a deep breath and remember that boredom is the catalyst for creativity, imagination, and self-direction. It is okay to let them be bored. It is okay, desirable, even, to have a life where not every second of the day is filled with scheduled activities.
Relax…you can do this and so can they. Trust yourself and trust them.